A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone sorry for any spelling that may occor in this. first of all i think i need to explain my postision. i am a young man in the british army based in england and have a 8 mounth 3 weeks pregnant partner back home living with my parents as she fosters (big house sharde rent) it is getting very very close to the time as she went in to early labour a few days ago i dont really know why im writing i think i just need some outside support on this and some questions sorted. i am feeling a bit isolated and useless even thoght i work with hundreds of peopele i share rooms with 5 other lads not been sleeping well been on medicaion have wired dreams dont know if i am doing the right thing in staying in servise as she seems to want me out altogether but i cant not the way things are in civi street but she wont move in to army acomidation for me to see her and the babise every day she says she doent want to move from family any words or simaler storise please ps. sorry for the long winded text
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): She is tired and emotional and heavily pregnant. She wants to be close to her family and friends but she will feel very differently when the baby is born. Be as supportive as you can, texting e-mailing and phoning so she knows you are there and thinking of her all the time. Do speak to your CO to see if you can get some time off or any additional help. My first boyfriend was in the marines and I wanted him to leave as he was always on tour or working long hours and I was lonely without him. He did leave, he had to buy himself out and it was the worse thing I could ever have done. Firstly he couldn't find work instantly and secondly he hated me for forcing him into doing it. The resentment grew and grew and we finished so you are right to stay put and work on your career. She may well feel differently about living in army accommodation after the child is born although if she is a family type may not want to be only with you in a strange place not knowing anyone else. Hace you checked to see what baby and toddler groups there are and what help there is for new mothers on your base and let her know? Does she know any of your friends and their partners?At the moment I would just keep doing what you are doing and wait for the call and then see how she feels once the baby is here. Congratulations and good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Being in the army can at times cause serious strain in a relationship especially if your overseas or even based away from your partner. Surprisingly the army can be very accommodating with leave close to a childs birth especially if you approach your CO and explain your concerns its not the same army it was. It might be an idea after the child is born to have a serious 'sit down' with your partner about your future in the army. Leaving a career because your partner wants you to can cause resentment and i believe your better waiting until your ready and every man is eventually ready to give up the army .... eventually. But it is important to do it on your terms. Maybe you can come to some compromise until things are more settled with the new child and decide when your ready about your career and what to do.
P.S Pregnant women are extremely difficult to deal with which is why she may think different afer its born.
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