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I'm falling in love with my roommate and a best friend

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 August 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

i think i'm falling in love with one of my best friends (who is also my roommate), and i don't know what to do about it because she's taken. but i'm getting extremely mixed signals from her. we've got the strangest relationship, seeing as how before we became friends, we both had the biggest crush on each other (we've discussed it), but just never knew how to approach each other due to nerves. when we finally did begin talking, she had just started dating someone else. so we decided to build a friendship, which we did. but it was built on top of having feelings for each other, therefore making the relationship one that was definitely not quite normal. anyway, we recently admitted to still having strong feelings for each other, but decided that forcing those feelings back was for the best right now. she said that her partner was her first priority right now, and so she was going to force her feelings for me to be just platonic. but since then, i don't feel like anything's changed. i still feel that even though she says they're platonic, they're not. this was about a month ago. and it's driving me insane because ever since she confessed to having still liked me so much, i've been falling really hard for her. and i don't know what to do. i've thought about confessing my feelings to her, and telling her that since last month, i haven't been able to push my feelings away. but i'm afraid that'll mess up our friendship if she doesn't feel the same. which would be especially bad since we live together. this is torture! i don't know what to do! help!

View related questions: best friend, crush, roommate

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A female reader, Amethyst United States +, writes (11 August 2006):

Amethyst agony auntThis sounds like something I've heard before.

It's never good to push feelings like that aside. It'll end up torturing you in the end, just like you've been realizing. You should tell her one day that you regret not taking your chance while you had it, and if you could do it all over again you'd have taken it. Tell her how you feel, that you're still gaga over her and you've tried pushing it aside, in respect of her decisions, but if you didn't at least tell her how you felt you would burst. If she returns the affections, she really shouldn't be with the other person. She could be making a mistake, because you both are obviously wanting to be together, she's just trying not to hurt her current partner. But if her partner really cares about her, they'd rather have her be happy, even if it's not with them.

Hiding something like this will eventually eat at your soul.

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A female reader, XxBxX United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2006):

XxBxX agony auntTell your best mate how you feel! the truth can't hurt anything! im sure if shes a good friend, it won't ruin your friendship and she will understand.

XxX

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