A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a gay man i happen to have a room mate who is also gay, he is my subordinate at work and considers us as friends, but as time passes by, as i know him more, i think i'm falling in love with him, we talk a lot about he likes on a guy, and obviously my not the type he might like.I really like this guy and i don't know what to do to him to like me back. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): Don't mess with people you work with. That's a universal rule no matter your orientation. Living under the same roof is even a bigger no no.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): If he isn't showing you any particular romantic interest, leave him alone. Nothing is worse than someone pretending to be a friend; when they have something else on their mind!
Your living and work-situation is "too confining" for my taste, as a fellow gay man.
You're growing attached based on his close proximity and convenience. Then he's your subordinate? How would you remain fair and unbiased, if he rejects your romantic advances?
Get a grip on your feelings. You're holding all the cards!
Get out and date. Nothing is more convenient than a fish in a barrel; but it is best for people to come to you of their own free-will. Not by trapping them at a disadvantage. All these things didn't just happen by coincidence.
He has no room to escape or retreat. I'd say you're closing in on him, regardless of how he feels about you. You've literally put up walls all around him.
You're holding his livelihood and the roof over his head in your very hands.
Do you want to force him into the position to "pretend" he has romantic feelings for you to protect himself? Are you really leaving him any choice?
Find yourself another place to live; and don't be tempted by opportunity. The whole thing could backfire on you!
Frustration by your infatuation may make you do something foolish, cruel, and undignified. You're only lonely, don't let that override your better judgement. Keep your feelings to yourself. Living with him is a bad idea. You'll be jealous when he finds someone else. Nothing is scarier to me, than an infatuated and jealous gay man!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2014): First off I'm a heterosexual woman but this situation applies to anybody considering the fact that you are both gay. I suggest you write down the pros and cons of confessing to him. Would it make it awkward at work? Would it change your dynamic at home? If you know you're not his type, is the risk of rejection worth it? Now that being said it's always good to not bottle up our feelings so if you decide to tell him you have to be ready for many things. Is he going to take it well if the feeling is not reciprocated? But you will never know unless you ask. Worst case scenario he tells you he doesn't see you that way and your relationship at work and at home will suffer. Best case scenario would be that he likes you as well. If deep inside you know he doesn't like you then I suggest you get a different roommate otherwise you will be torturing yourself by living with him.
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