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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I am in a relationship with a much younger man, (he is 29 and I am 46). He thought I was younger and I thought he was older. We have been dating for 6 weeks and I am afraid of falling in love with him, since I cannot have children. I tried to break it off with him and he said he wanted to date me for 6 months to a year to see where we go from there. Part of me wishes he would fall head over heels in love with me, and the other wishes, he would not. I know myself and I can totally see myself falling in love with him. I told him that if I felt I was "falling" for him, I would end the relationship, since it would not be fair to him or me. And his response, was, "What if I fall in love with you first?". What do you think if he falls in love with me first? I told him, "We would handle that, if it did happen.” How can we handle that? Any ideas? over the weekend after we had this talk we were talking of how in the 8 weeks we have been dating, we have not disagreed on anything. He told me I am everything that he is looking for in a woman - wise, sexy, smart, beautiful. What if he asks me a question about having a baby when I cant? I will enjoy the time we spent together and hope it continues. I have been honest and fair to him. if he is the one who wants to take a chance. Is it ok? How to make it work? How to know that this is a "friendship" or a romantic relationship? If we are truly enjoying what is happening. Is there a reason to deny oneself the pleasures of a younger man? What are the rules of this kind of relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): Stop having such low self esteem. I know you feel insecure but the fact that he is much younger doesn't mean he is better than you or that his feelings are more important than yours.
All the phases in life are precious. I'm 34 and eventhough I have not accomplished things most people of my age and culture have accomplished I don't want to be 24 or 18 again. I just want to enjoy my life and live the happiest I can live within my circumstances.
I'm single and I will not accept a man who doesn't accept me fully as I am. I'd rather never get married.
I think you should talk to him seriously about the fact that you might not be able to get pregnant. I think that now that neither of you are in love just yet he has to really consider the possibility that if you eventually do fall in love with each other there's a high possibility that you'll remain childless. If he thinks he can handle it then continue the relationship.
Tell him he has to be honest and mature about this matter because it's extremely important to you and you couldn't handle being rejected in the future for something you feel insecure already for.
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