A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. Been a while.So here's the deal: I'm now in my mid thirties and very single. I've been happy about my life so far. I got out of a toxic relationship about 5 years ago and have not dated since then. I've been enjoying my freedom until the most amazing man came into my life early this year. He's simply everything I want /need in a man. He's super intelligent, has a crazy sense of humor, suave, caring, open, disciplined. He and I can rub minds in a way I have never been able to with someone else my entire life. In fact I see so much of myself in him, it's scary. He stands out among men and I'm afraid I'm falling for him. Thing is, I don't want to because he is in a relationship and I really don't want to catch feelings for someone who is not available.We talk regularly and even though he hates phone calls he calls me and spends a lot of time talking to me. We can talk for hours and not get bored. He is so relaxed with me and tells me a lot of stuff. So you see, he is a total package. But he is taken.People, I need your help! How do I get him put of my head? I don't want to become emotionally vulnerable, and I certainly won't come between him and his woman! I just need advice on how to forget about him and kill these feelings I have. I know I MUST NOT fall in love with him!!! We live in the same town so avoiding him is possible to a certain extent. Please help me out with mature advice, and save a soul :( ... Thanks so much. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much!!!
I really appreciate the sound advice.It's good to know I'm on the right track by already putting some distance between us. Thanks for getting my back on this one :)
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 July 2015):
 I agree with eyeswideopen, you NEED to cut the contact. You can be polite IF/WHEN you met him around town, but I would STIP with the phone-calls ,texting etc.
Trying to pretend that you CAN be a friend is not working out for you, so better just DROP it.
If you REALLY and TRULY respects his relationship, that IS the only option.
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A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (8 July 2015):
 Hi
Please think about what you are doing
Live a life and not a pattern
Your last relationship was toxic and now it looks like you are going the right way to step into another with a married guy
If you get involved the chances are it will end in heartbreak
You've not had a relationship for a while and I think your fantasy's are running a bit crazy about this guy
Hope you meet someone fabulous and single soon x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 July 2015):
 Your only choice as I see it is to cut contact with him. The more you talk to him the more involved you are going to get. You will either hurt someone else (the girlfriend) or hurt yourself or both.
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