A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have found a man on the internet that is what seems to be the 'perfect match' for me. We have all the same things in common and we have sat and spoke for twelve hours at a time. I am completely falling for him and we're meant to be meeting in a couple of weeks. Last night however he told me an old friend of his had started speaking to him online after two years and they had a lot of catching up to do, so i thought i'd get out of his way because i'd hate to feel like a nuisance. He told me i could never be a nuisance and if anything she was the nuisance in the situation because he loves talking to me. I gave it three more hours after that but the conversation was dire and he was telling me little things she was saying as though to somehow make me jealous. When i left, he soon after left me a message apologising for the conversation being lame which i replied to this morning. When i got home after work today, he wasn't online which is unusual for him but i didn't mind, i just messaged him asking him to come online so we could speak as we do every night. I decided to leave for about four hours and when i came back he'd read my message but not replied and he was offline again. I did the 'appear offline' thing and between the time i did that and the time i came back online he'd come online. Now this could be completely coincidental and it's just me reacting to something and nothing, but i would hate to think hes angry at me for some reason or theres just something i've done, which at the moment i know nothing about. I'd also hate however to message him again and seem over-bearing, so is there anything i can do??
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female
reader, Angle79  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 Hi,
I have made some good friends on the internet. So i believe there are good men on the net are real and who wish to have real relationship but at the same there are a lot of scamers poeple who enjoy flirting and cheating on women's feeling and who never wish to make anything work out. Some men are so good at talking and make everything sound great and only say things that women want to hear. I dont your friend but i feel he is trying to step back as thing with you is getting more serious (you plan to meet each other). How much details do you know about this man? I am sorry to say, but it is always difficult to trust someone on the internet. Try to send him more texts, and see if there is any reaction from at all. If not, please forget about him and move on my dear. Wish you all the best of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell his band added me on myspace and usually that leads to nothing but with him we got seriously talking straight off and then in the very first night alone we sat and spoke for ten hours straight over msn, i don't think i have ever even spoke to anyone i know for that long. I know we have so much in common because when we're talking the conversation doesn't die out ever it just keeps flowing and we're constantly finding ourselves agreeing on basically everything. I've had quite a difficult year with men and it was starting to feel as though i would never find anybody right, but this guy really is quite somebody. Not even my closest and oldest friends have as much in common with me. It's not as though i have done anything wrong so i don't really understand why he is acting so strangely today. I mean i don't want to see over-powering but i'm getting worried that there is maybe something i've done somehow that's upset him even though he's not the type of person to get mad at anybody. I don't mind that he was talking to old friends, or that he's not talking to me for one day, jesus i'm not obsessive lol but its just that he's read the two messages i've sent today and not replied, and it seems he's online when i'm offline because in the four hours i went away he was on then when i got back he wasnt then he came back on as soon as i appeared offline so i thought maybe it could be coincidental or maybe theres more to it.I wouldn't mind but he seems so interested in me that its hard to believe all of a sudden he wouldn't want to meet or he doesn't want to talk. He even calls me the little name he only calls his girlfriends, so it kind of makes no sense.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): I doubt that he's the least bit angry with you.
Is this a completely cyber acquaintance, or is there somebody (co-worker, friend, relative, etc) who can vouch for at least the basics of what this guy is? Do you know him in any other context, such as a professional forum, interest group, alumni contact network, etc?
How do you know you have so much in common? Is there anything you can verify, apart from your cyber chats?
As a purely pragmatic matter, you have no real basis to demand his time or attention. However, I think it's OK to send a daily message of the form "I miss chatting with you and hope to catch you at time - or can you suggest a better time?" for at least a few days.
Breaching the confidence of another conversation by transcribing it to you is not something that sits well with me. At best he was trying to manipulate you with the jealousy card.
At worst, he is trying to get you to drop him so he won't have to go through the hassle of standing you up.
I suggest you keep trying for a few days - if he shows up again, he has a LOT of explaining to do. If he doesn't, you have absolutely NO reason to feel guilty about moving on to somebody else.
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