A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling really pressurized to be 'normal' at the moment. I don't understand why I'm being treated like a freak just because my interests are a bit different from other people I know and I didn't even think they were that weird. For example I like walking/hiking, going to standing stones or old ruins. I know maybe it's an older persons thing but I enjoy it. I also like playing computer games, not obsessively but maybe a couple of nights a week I'll sit down and play for an hour or two. It's just things like that really, not things that are considered wrong or disturbing. Whenever I tell anyone though I'm more or less told to get a life. In fact only a couple of days ago when I went to an Indian restaurant with family I was told exactly that in front a whole group of people and that I should basically forget everything I do now and go out get drunk and get a life. It really hurt and I was so embarrassed. The people that were there then proceeded to get so drunk they all fell out and started fighting, they also got kicked out the restaurant for being abusive to the staff. It's just not that one time though. I have never really been in a serious relationship purely because I've never met anyone I had a lot in common with. Some of my friends seem to think I'm really strange because of that. Now whenever we do go out they are always encouraging me to go home with any guy that shows the faintest bit of interest. If I don't (and I haven't) then I'm called a prude. Or if I do get to know someone and realise it's probably not going to work out they think I should go out with them anyway. If I don't wear make up (and I usually don't) I'm questioned about it. If I don't get overly dressed up for a night out (e.g in a short skirt) I'm questioned about it. If I refuse to smoke cigarettes or weed then I'm pestered about it, mocked and sometimes asked why. I've also been lectured for only ever getting tipsy and never totally drunk.It always seems to revolve around sex and drink. Everytime someone asks what I like to do and I don't say drinking at pubs/clubs and listening to music or if I say I'm not really bothered about finding a boyfriend then they'll usually give me a funny look and in some cases not talk to me again. I'm fed up of feeling so alienated and constantly having to explain myself over and over again to everyone. Do the majority of other people (in my country at least) have no other hobbies apart from getting drunk and having sex??? Part of me is getting depressed about all this. The other part just can't understand what's so wrong about what I do. Do I sound weird, do my friends have a point? I used to be sure and confident of myself and my decisions but now I can't help but doubt myself after hearing it from so many people.
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male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (21 April 2011):
YES! Screw everyone. The other people are dumb and shallow. They act like animals, not human beings. I drink, I must admit it, but I am totally against violence, smoking, and that kind of disorder in life. You need to change who you pay attention to, not your views of life :) Good luck girl!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Hiya, believe me you aren't alone! Its so sad that people can't see beyond what hobbies you have. To be quite honest, it sounds like your 'friends' are twits, so I'd possibly start by mixing with other people with similar interests to yourself (eg. join a hillwalking club/society. When I go out to a pub or club I never get trashed (very dangerous thing to do) and it's good that you're picky about boys (I'm the same - I'm 18 and never had one!). So don't worry, you just need to find people with similar interests as you and you're hunky dory. Good luck m'dear! x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): I agree with the fact that you're very intelligent for making the decision not to dumb yourself down and like and do what everyone else likes to do. Not only that, you don't exactly even need to find someone with the same interests. Perhaps you can open someone up to your hobbies. You know? As long as you can get along and smile with someone, they may even open up their interests to you, everyone's happy.
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A
female
reader, theaboo  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Screw everyone! You are wise not to be interested in partying and boys! I understand how feeling different and isolated because of your interests can be hurtful, but in reality, the people who make fun of you are jealous that they have the attention span of a goldfish and need to be drunk to have fun. I think you're unwillingness to dumb yourself dumb and like whatever's trendy is admirable.
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