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male
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anonymous
writes: I think I am may have a mild Anxiety disorder. I am due to go away on holiday with my girlfriend and without my family fairly soon and Im feeling quite stressed and anxious about it. Though deep down I'm looking forward to it as I get bouts of exitment. I know its definetly the holiday because when I think about it I feel anxious and slightly depressed and start worrying about somthing deep down but I don't know what it is. In the past I have been on holidays and just wanted to come home on the first few days and I fear this is going to happen this time, allthough it could be wrong. I am definatly going on the holiday, I need to overcome this but I was wondering if there are any tips and advice to make me calm and excited up to the flight because I know as soon as I'm there it will be a huge relief?! thanks...
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (6 June 2007):
 One thing I did mention before was that I became very anxious about going away one year as I knew I was going to France on a motorbike with my partner who I trusted completely but a previous year I had freaked as the pillion as you are on the wrong side of the road for us and we were going up this steep hill, and sheer drop and my partner started to point out these large condors flying high up and I was freaking because I wanted him to watch the road instead as I thought we were going over the edge.
It was an irrational thought I know that now but I was shivering and shaking when we got to the top and I had never feared heights but had not felt comfortable with them.
I then decided before the next holiday on a large bike to go and have a session of hypnotherapy which at the time cost me about £20, they normally say have a few sessions before your holiday but for me 1 session did the trick.
I went and relaxed and sat in a seat and didn't feel like I was under but the hynotherapist took me to a safe place in my head and I have not feared heights ever since.
It takes away the anxiety you feel and I have also felt like wanting to go home when away on holiday in a strange place and it was because we were away with very little money and there was not much to do.
I agree with Mandy7, you are only here once so you have to make the most of every moment. Don't go with negative thoughts of a previous holiday, this is different as you are with your lovely gf and you want to both have a good time, make sure you keep yourselves busy and do day trips or excursions and just have fun.
Think about the hypnotherapy though, it may help you. What have you got to lose eh, only a few quid at the most.
Good luck and keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): Im writing again love after your follow up, its a insecurity your in a strange place somewere you dont feel as comfortable as home its quite natural to miss your family and the security of a famillar surroundings. its a culture shock to some people, I live on a small island its a shock for me when i go to the u.k everything is so much faster and busier and it can be very confusing, not knowing you can go to the safe enviroment of home can give you fear and you go into a panic attack. just try to relax go buy a book on good relaxing techniques and have a good read and practice the methods of relaxation it will help in all aspects of life relaxation and meditation are so beneficial in todays society it will help calm you and put things into perspective.
It wont happen over night but if you give it ago it may help so much for your problem, i do hope you can enjoy this holiday id love to hear how things went, and if you do get panic attacks you dont actually mention that you do, its when your heart beats very fast you can sweat feel sick find it hard to get your breath and your chest feels tight it is frightning you can use a brown paper bag over your nose and mouth taking in your own air it will calm you. Take care xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): hun by the sounds of things you have a fear of flying, as you say as soon as your there your fine, Then you want to get home a.s.a.p so you cant relax at all, I used to feel the same but then i had to travel for health reasons so i had no choice but to face my anxiety, And i thought what is the point in worrying so much what is ment to be will be live your life to the full enjoy every moment have a great holiday every path we take love leads to somewere new and exciting and we end up stronger and happier for it start thinking of the great time your going to have and the new people you will meet, and most of all how special it will be to spend it with the one you love. Have a lovely time and good luck xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm looking forward to going with my girlfriend! but past holidays I have been on I have been home sick. I haven't been on a package holiday for ages. I'm going to fueterventura for a week and past holidays for example a week to austria I wanted to come home after 2 days. I still have that fear in my head that I'll really want to come home after a few days.
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (5 June 2007):
Is this all holidays or is this because you are going with your girlfriend?
Have you been away with a gf before?
Where are you going on holiday? Is it a long flight or a long way away?
There are many ways to calm yourself before going away, I think there is a lot of people who get very anxious before something happens like holidays, weddings, christenings etc etc so I don't think you are on your own there.
A couple of years ago I decided to take my 4 year old daughter at the time to France on my own and I was driving for the first time by myself, going via Seacat and not having somewhere booked for the first night. I was fine until I got to the Seacat and thought what the hell and I am doing - then I told myself don't be so stupid and got on with it, it was a little scary but I did it. I think it was because so many other people - especially female friends said ooh you are brave I wouldn't do it on my own that I questioned myself.
You may have set yourself a lot of expectations and possibly trying to be the best bf in the world as you are trying to make it really good for your gf.
You could try some breathing techniques and a lot of these you can access via the net. Try the Alexander technique which is very good.
Also there are a couple of herbal remedies on the market and even my ex has tried them and he swears by them. One is called Quiet Life by Lanes and available in most health shops and also Kalms and they contain wild lettuce and hops and completely non addictive. You can also get Bach flower drops or spray that you can spray or drop directly onto the tongue and any moments of anxiety can be taken away with these.
Just before an important meeting or anything similar.
Hope the above helps in some way.
At the end of the day what is the point of worrying about it all.
Have you got everything prepared, i.e. passport, money etc or anything worrying you on this side.
If so, make a list and only do 1 thing on the list per day and it will soon come together, trust me.
Take care and good luck.
BFN
Country Woman
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