A
male
age
51-59,
*amesy4444
writes:there is a girl i have been chatting to for two years now online, and i get on really well with her, if i was to write a dream girl spec she would be it. She is sexy, funny attractive, inteligent everything i could want and more. She even works in the same industry as me so we have that and so many other things in common. Now you have guessed there is a but coming and you would be right. She has a boy friend who is a banker in the city of London, I live in Manchester and have 4 kids, she has none. She has never been married, i have just come out of a 14 year marrage and have had a couple of short relationships and my confidence is at rock bottom. I think from our conversations that she is bored of this guy but still likes him. I know on paper it does not look good for me but i really like her and i am certain she likes me i just dont know how much and how to tell her how i really feel as we joke so much about running off together to a desert island or traveling across the states on a Harley. i Would hate to spoil the good relationship we have as she makes me laugh and lights up my day when we chat but i know at some point if there is somthing there i have to tell her. I am wondering if you have any suggestions or am i just bing silly.
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male
reader, Jamesy4444 +, writes (28 November 2007):
Jamesy4444 is verified as being by the original poster of the question She doesnt live with him which i was surprised at, has her own place, we spent last night chattin for ages , as she was in germany for work, now if the boyfiriend was so important u would have thought she would talk to him!!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 Well why dont you jump on an the intercity and head down to London? Find a reason to go down there, and try and meet up for a lunch/coffee or whatever.
The only way to find out if things could work out between you guys is to meet up.
The boyfriend is the problem though, is she just flirting because he's a "merchant wanker" type? i.e always at work, neglecting her, self indulgent, and she's just bored. Or is she really ready to leave him?
But you gotta meet face to face dont you.
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A
male
reader, Jamesy4444 +, writes (27 November 2007):
Jamesy4444 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe knows my full situation, kids the lot
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): This really is a perspective problem. Like the first commentor said, if you haven't been honest and upfront about your life, that's not the best way to go about things.Also, if you guys have only ever talked online, that could be a problem. You might try taking the relationship a step further, instead of just being online buds, meet up, hang out, become "my friend so-and-so" not "the guy I talk with online". That's honestly my best advice.I'm an American, and I just mapquested your cities, and living three hours away from each other could be a problem, also. You just need to figure out what you want first.If you guys were to enter a serious relationship, would you expect her to move closer to you, would you be willing to move closer to her, or would you be alright keeping it long distance? How would your kids feel about this?It's possible I'm being too harsh. I'm a realist, and that's really not always how love works. Hell, my parents were set up by my mother's father, were engaged a month after they met, and have been married for twenty-two years. Just don't put all your hopes on this girl. It might be better if she's that girl you liked but never had.Good luck in all endeavors,Anna
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (27 November 2007):
I guess the key question here is, does she know that you have 4 kids?
have you been entirely honest with her? If she does and is prepared to take this responsiblity on, then it doesnt mean that the boyfriend banker won't be giving his marching orders.
i just get the feeling you havent been entirely upfront with her about your divorce and children, which is not a good way to start a relationship.
My apologies if you have been honest with her, in that case good luck.
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