A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i meet this guy about a month ago online but we only went out recently for a date. Date was ok ,wasnt fantastic, but we could carry convertsations well, which i found important, as chatting online with someone and in person is very different.Also doesnt hurt that i found him very attractive. After our 1st date, we went out again on our 2nd date the next day, this time i asked him and he said yes. So i figured he must be "ok" with me right ? if not he wouldn't wana go out with me again so soon right?I realised that im developing feelings for him. Anyway, the next day we were online chatting again and we just got on the subject of sex and next time happen, i was at his place and we had sex. Sex was the best i ever had. But now im worried that he might find me easy and not want to even consider me as a potential girlfriend as i know that he's looking for a girlfriend by goin through dating websites which was where i met him. We are still chatting but i wanted him to know that i wont be clingy and all like a typical woman just because we had sex,i wanted to be cool...so we are back to chatting as though we never had any sexual realations. (1) My question is that i want to know if he might even have any feelings for me because im starting to like him a lot. I want to date him exclusively but dont know how he feels, as he just told me that he was out on dates after we did the deed. (i asked him about his day and he told me he went out on dates). please advise. im going crazy thinking about him going on these dates with different women, and he's telling me about it like im his buddy. i made a mistake of telling him i had a friend with benefits once, and that's when he asked if i would sleep with someone like him, and i said yes, cuz i told him i was attracted to him and i would do it.Then when later when ended up at his place having sex, and what was nice was that i stayed over and we cuddled up together so i didnt feel like he used me just for sex. I really like him. what should i do?(2) Should i ask him if he was just using me for sex, or he might actually have feelings for me? im afraid i might scare him off if im being too forward, then i might never have a chance of chatting with him ever again if he decides to blow me off.(3) Im also afraid that he might find a girlfriend soon from all the dating and i wont even stand a chance then. please advise and share your views. greatly appreciated. thanks
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 No - I think that the obligation to show faith, faithfulness, caring and all that stuff is entirely his responsibility at this point. In my opinion, you are smitten with a guy who may or may not be just chalking up the score. In other words, chatting with plenty others and sowing his oats, as we say in Texas. That is why I suggest that at your age you should consider relying on your gut feelings about whether this guy is real boyfriend material or just another player trying to get laid a lot by a variety of women.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi double M,i appreciate your feedback but what do you mean by act and behave accordingly?Should i show him how much i care or keep it cool?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 October 2008):
Your intuition as a woman will guide you through all of this if you allow it. You will know, in your heart and mind, if it is going wrong. Act and behave accordingly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): I am sorry to say I think he probably gets a kick out of reeling women in having his wicked way then moving on to the next unsuspecting woman.He probably uses the dating sites because he knows there will be women on there really keen to meet someone for a serious realtionship so he thinks will be keen to please him.If I were you I would cut contact.If he really likes you, he will come back.
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