A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I split with my partner earlier this year after nine years because of total sexual incompatibility which just became such a big deal. My partner no longer wanted sex - it was never a terribly frequent occurence and oral sex (either way) had always been 'banned' - but I loved her and so felt I would cope with it. After three years of struggling with this I realised I didn't want a relationship without intimacy and had to move on. And before anyone asks, I did the housework, I made her feel special - she told me I did everything I could - she went and had check-ups because she had had problems with being wet enough early in our relationship. Basically it had never been important to her and that's the way she was and she was devastated when we split.Anyway, having been without for over three years now I find myself constantly horny! In the past I have never slept around, I've just not been the type, but it's becoming a real issue and I really need to do something about it. I would even have considered 'friends with benefits' but all of my female friends are either coupled or single and just not that type. I've never ever considered going with an escort because I prefer some emotional attachment but I am just SO in need I've actually considered it (but hate myself for doing so).What the heck do I do? I can't go on like this - cold showers and masturbation can only go so far!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Flirt, go out, and date! Find a new girlfriend fast, that seems to be the only solution. Go to the gym and make sure you are healthy and a good catch for women.
For the time being, have you tried different types of toys? They can offer a different experience, and might be enough to keep your horniness in check for a bit longer.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks ctds. I have joined a few dating sites - just to see who is out there because I would really rather have a relationship. Not a great number where I live who are under 40 (I an 36 and as my partner was 46, I am anxious not to repeat the experience) and who aren't mothers with 3 kids! My options seem to be limited whether relationship or just fun.
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A
female
reader, ctds001 +, writes (21 June 2010):
I think there is nothing wrong with wanting intimacy and you are free and single.
If I was you I would sign up for Dating sites, get to know people who are interested in a sexual relationship and are single.
I think in no time you will find someone for either friends with benefits or a casual relationship with intimacy.
Don't see an Escort as you sound like you will regret it. Why add to your guilt? You have already had to break up with someone you cared about.
Good luck, enjoy your new life x
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