A
male
age
30-35,
*uterspacePolarBear
writes:Ok heres the deal. I'm deeply in love with a mentor at my sixth form. I'm 18 in a few months, and shes around 25. I know what you guys might be thinking, I've heard everything everyone has said about this type of topic, but I think I would know if it was hormones or not. I've been in "hormonal love" plenty of times before, and this is completely different to what I have ever felt before in my life.She and I have one-to-one sessions once every week, after sixth form hours. I think she might be sending signals, but I am not an expert in body language or facial expressions, but she always laughs at my stupid jokes,she always smiles at me, sometimes in a curt, polite manner, but sometimes she just smiles like she cant help herself.I've complimented her once, about one of her features, and she smiled, and very softly said "Thank..you", and afterwards I could see her looking at me, and when I looked up at her, she looked down at her paper. It was on V-Day, so I wished her a happy Valentines day, and she laughed, but I left abruptly.In my school building, we have a study center in the middle of the building, which has windows, and you can see in from the outside staircase. Sometimes when I go up or down the staircase, I catch her flicking her eyes towards me, but then I look away, even though I know shes still looking. She does so many other things that all imply that she may like me, like really like me, but theres too many things to write on here.At this point I am so confused about what to think about everything, I am always angry and irritable, and I just can't get her out of my head. She's unlike any other woman/girl I have ever met, where it would be a fling and then maybe a relationship for a couple months, but that is all just based upon "hormones" and sexual pleasure.But she is just driving me nuts, and I feel even more discontent now that we have a small holiday/break from sixth form, and I just feel lost because I can't see her or talk to her, and it genuinely feels like something is missing from inside of me.And it's just making me insanely mad that I dont know how she feels about it and I have a thousand different questions zipping through my head all day, every day, like "Does she like me the way I like her?", "Is she just scared to react because I'm not 18 yet, but she knows I will be soon?", "Is she just scared of what might happen if anybody found out, If we do end up together?"....I really need someone to lay down the bricks for me and just tell me what is going on, please just HELP me understand. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): Well, that's a rough patch of water you're in.Plain and simple, though possibly crazy to suggest. Ask her how she feels.I realize this is EXTREMELY forward and blunt, but if you want to know one way or another then do it. You said you have a one on one session with them, so that would be the perfect time.Obviously this can be a good or bad thing. It could make things awkward between you two, or it could clear things up. What you describe, I personally have felt. The best way I found was to establish the other person's feelings. That way it cleared things up. No point in chasing something you can't have. Or if they are interested then you can decide how to proceed with it.Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): Stay clear, dude. She's in a position of authority over you and any romantic relationship will get her in deep trouble. The truth is she's flirting harmlessly to boost her ego.
You can't expect anything and if you respect her as a mentor or a teacher you will stay the hell away until you have finished sixth form.
Everyone has crushes, unfortunately, you are just going to have to make do without her.
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