A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with a married man for six months, not intimate. He lives near where I live and his wife knows about me just not who I am and she has told me to leave her husband alone twice by text. He just tells me not to reply.He is the one that looks for me. I know its wrong but I think I love him. The last thing I want to do is break up his family. I want to leave him but I'm afraid of how much is going to hurt not talking to him or seeing him anymore. What can I do?
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female
reader, Same Situation +, writes (3 April 2011):
First off, stop lying to yourself. You are in this relationship because you DO want him to leave his wife.Secondly, get ready for a heap of hurt. The hurt you are calculatingly trying to inflict on his wife and children, will be your own. And you will deserve it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much... I appreciate your advice
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): Why demean yourself and make yourself the third wheel?
If he leaves his wife and kids for you, how would you know that one day he won't do the same to you? Don't let him get the best of you. If he is not happy with his wife, he should end his relationship with her properly before pursuing you. If he is keeping you both in his clutches, can that type of guy be any good? Put yourself in his wives' shoes, you wouldn't want that to be happening to you so you shouldn't continue this relationship knowing it's hurting other people! :(
Imagine how it would feel if you were the kid, finding out your father is cheating on your mother with someone else and hurting your mother (I've gone through this so I know the pain)
Good men treat women with respect. And he is not respecting either of you. You deserve a person who is truly willing to commit to you. If he wanted to leave his wife for you, he would've done it by now!
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 You should exercise your adult side and leave him alone. This relationship is never going to go anywhere. Not once did you say he's thinking about leaving his wife. You are stuck in this trap of being the other woman, because that's what he wants. Regardless of how hard it may seem to back away, you need to run, not walk and don't answer his calls or hook up with him anymore. His wife could be a real psycho and end up taking a shot at you. Literally. It's not worth it! There are so many other guys who are single and would love to devote themselves to you. Don't waste your beauty, your mental health, your precious energy on a man who already has a committment with someone else. Let this be your learning curve, chalk it up to experience and move on. Be strong. Think about people who have much harder things to face in life; cancer, earthquakes, think about the people in Japan with no water, no food, no home. Then you'll know you have the strength to stop seeing this married man and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): This guy has everything a family a home a wife that let's him get away with seeing other women a mistress he must think he is king. His wife is probably still with him for the sake of the kids. Are you happy knowing he won't commit to you the love you feel is only on your side. He's happy knowing he can get exactly what he wants. Forget him before you do fall for him he is not worth your time of day. Your young and you'll meet someone much nicer than him.
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