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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I am a straight guy who recently started dating a bisexual girl who already has a girlfriend of 6 months. Both her and her girlfriend are ok with each other dating other men, just not dating other women. I really like this girl, but I'm not so sure how I feel about her having a girlfriend at the same time as I am her boyfriend. Is that ok? Is it considered cheating for her to be dating me and another woman at the same time? What should I do? She says that it is perfectly fine for someone to date two people at the same time as long as they are of the opposite sex. Is she right? Should I even be worried or should I just get over the fact that she is with another woman?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2006): Relationships are not all about sex, which is something that she doesn't seem to realize. That's obviously what you two differ on. In my opinion, this is just an "okay" from you to go ahead and cheat, since she apparently is saying she's in an actual relationship with you. (I am bi, and I would NEVER see two people at the same time. But that's the kind of person I am; I like to devote all of my feelings to one person.) Being bi - in my opinion - doesn't give someone a free ticket to have sex with whoever he/she pleases. That excuse is tired and lame. Just be upfront with her about how you feel, and if it doesn't work out then it's better that you find out now rather than later.
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 Hi,
I think its still a form of cheating no matter what the sex. Shes having a relationship with you on one hand and then another at the same time with a woman. So that still equates to two relationships at the same time, just so happens that its with a woman and not a male. Now if you are okay with this then all well and good. But if your not you have to say something and let her know. It doesnt matter what sex the other party is its still cheating, shes okay with it as shes the one thats doing it! Would she be okay if for example you were to start dating a guy ? Sorry i dont mean to but you in a different bracket, but just wondered if she would be so cool about it, if it were the other way around. Your clearly not that happy about and i wouldnt be either, im of the view that your with one person because you love and care for them and want to build a loving,trusting relationship together, and grow together i dont see how you can do that with someone else on the scence as obviously your time is split and will have different priorities,and wont devote as much time together, i cant see how you can grow in a relatinoship and get it to where you where you both want it when someone else isnt on the same page ? Now that is just my opinion and you may view it differently, i just couldnt deal with not being straight down the line and with only one man or one girl at a time! If you want it to be an open relationship then i guess its cool, its up to the individual, but if you feel that you cant deal with it then you will have to let her know exactly how you feel, sit her down and tell her whats on your mind and what you want, dont go along with it just to keep her if, its not what you really want. You need to both be 100% happy about the whole situation, it doesnt work if either party has doubts or is uncomfortable about it. Remember shes saying its cool cos shes cool with it, doesnt mean that you have to be and you are allowed to not be happy with it, so sit her down and have a chat about what you guys want from this.
Take care x x
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 You are in uncharted territory. And an unusual situation.
When she says 'its perfectly fine for someone to date two people at the same time as long as they are of the opposite sex', what she really is saying is 'I think that its perfectly fine...'. There is no absolute right or wrong here. Just an agreement between two (maybe three) people.
It's up to you. If you are not OK with it, don't do it. If you are Ok with it, do.
My personal opinion is that it doesn't make any difference what someones sex is, an open relationship is an open relantionship. Which is what she's asking you for. A small number of people can be happy in those situations. Personally I couldn't. But thats me. It's up to you and what you think you will be comfortable with.
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