A
female
age
30-35,
*hick989
writes:need your advice. my parents have recently found out that i'm going out with a 50 yr old (and have been for a year). i love him dearly and can't imagine life without him by my side. my parents are devastated, the last thing i want to do was hurt them. i've told my mum that we're in love but she just laughs in my face. my dad hasn't said a lot but i know he's ready to kill him. what shall i do? ending it is not an option because the age to us it's not a problem. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ian43uk +, writes (3 January 2010):
I can see your parents concern, and rightly so, their little girl with a man almost 3 times her age, and probably older than they are, what parent wouldnt be concerned, all they can see is an old man trying to take advantage of their young girl.
Now this may, or may not be correct, im not condemning you, this relationship of yours could well be genuine, some age gap relationships are genuine, and both partners are very happy together.
All I would suggest is take a long hard look at your relationship and make sure you are both in it for the right reasons. If it is 100% genuine, then your parents will see that eventually and in time may, or may not come to accept it, but it will take time for them.
It is true that some people cannot get on with others their own age, and have more attraction to people much older or younger than themselves. This is seen more and more these days in showbiz circles, but it is not frowned upon there, so why should it be frowned upon in 'normal' lives.
I myself am attracted to women much younger than myself (im 43), my friend is 39 with a 20 yr old girlfriend, her parents have no problem with it, its all down to personal preferences, and prejudices.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): There is nothing wrong with your relationship. If you are both happy that is all that matters. My mother has always said to me that the only person who has to live with their mistakes is them.
I am also attracted to older men, the are mature and know how to treat a lady.
My first boyfriend was 20 years older then me (a teacher) and we were together about 18 months, I lost my virginity to him. My mum wasn't over the moon about it but she was happy to let me live my life. The rest of my family were a bit reserved and lectured me about dating my teacher.
Now I am seeing someone 38 years older then me. Have been with him for about 2 years and I'm completely head over heels but my family don't know about us. He's gone through a very messy seperation from his wife, more like family business partner.
He has a beautiful property with amazing view, we spend hours out on his verenda watching the sun set. He has asked me to live with him when everything is settled, he asked if i'd be happy if he only had $1.5m, I told him that I'd be happy if he had $1.50 and that it's not him money that I love. He is so thoughtful, compassionate and caring, he's not affraid to show his emotions.
He says that he wants to make everything right for us, then we would tell our families. It's funny because my mum is very fiesty and he is scared of what she might do to him. My whole family know him as I know his but they don't know that he is my world and that my heart beats for him.
Love is so bliss, he calls me each night we are apart to say goodnight and then each morning to tell me he loves me. I'm the happiest I have ever been. I think mum knows though and not letting on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): I think there is no problem with it .The other replies seem to be just jealous of you . If you both love each other .Why not enjoy your life .Your parents have lived there lives and they are not perfect themselves .So why should you be bothered with them .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2009): I can't believe that you were suckered into a relationship with grandpa. I have no problem with age gap relationships, but according to your posted age, even I think this is ridiculous.
I would venture a guess that your beloved is simply a pervery pedophile as compared to him you are a nubilr innocent. It's gross. The man is only interested in you for one thing. Are you only interested in him for one thing, his money?
Get a grip, dump the loser and date a boy your own age. No wonder you parents are freaked out, I am sure they think you have a screw loose.
Sorry, but this is really bad news for you.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (24 December 2009):
 Your parents are right and you are wrong.
You are in love and not able to see future, I think, love should not be that blind. After all your life need 'life partner' matched with most of your life details, including age, and many many other factors.
You can change the form of your relationship, into other category like best friend. You should not be childish in making choices.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2009): hes too old for you, yes u love him and u may really connect with him but.. you have to see things from yr parents point of veiw! of course they are angry! think about the age difference, it will only seem more as u get older, now its ok, 50 is quite young, but when u are 45 he will be an old man and may be in a wheelchair or ready for full time care in a nursing home? can u deal with that? having to look after him instead of having a partner that can do things with you? what if u have kids? can they handle having a dad that is more like their grandpa? please be realistic and think about this r/ship, your parents are worried, thats all, they can see the difficult future for you if you stay with him.
take care
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 December 2009):
 He is older than your parents and you cant comprehend why they are a little peeved? Sure it might work but consider this, when you are 30 he is going to be 60 and when you hit your peak at 40 he is going to be a doddering old man -- wotcha gunna do then? Wipe his backside and sit down to hold his hand while you feed him?
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