A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am crazy about my best friend's brother but he is just not interested, no matter how hard I try. I'm 17 and he is 19. I just don't know what to do. Help please.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (4 March 2006):
What you do is, stop trying.
Think about this. What's the most boring subject you studied at school? History? English Lit? Spanish? It doesn't matter what it is; the fact remains you weren't interested.
Now picture your most-boring-subject's instructor trying to get you interested, by hanging around in your other classes, talking about it. By dropping by your house, just to wave a couple of boring assignments in your face. By making a visit to where you work, just to see you and remind you that that dull old subject is still around... By lounging around with your friends, hoping to discuss it while you're there...
Do you picture yourself suddenly saying "Wow! I finally want to study that"? No?
Are you beginning to understand where I'm going with this?
He's not interested. You already know that. And the fact is, when you're not interested in something, having it around you all the time makes you LESS interested, not more.
So move on. Give it up. Stop torturing yourself.
Maybe he'll change his mind in the future, and maybe not. But there are thousands, millions of guys in the world who WOULD be interested, if you gave them a chance. Stop trying to force something that isn't going to happen. You're only depressing yourself and the effort is pointless.
Just beware of anyone who tells you to put on a pair of sexy, strappy shoes, or a slutty dress and vamp him up, because that's not the way to his HEART, if you take my meaning. Sure, he'd probably have sex with you if that's what you want, but that's not the same thing as him *caring* about you.
Time to accept reality and move on. It's the only logical response.
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