A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know this guy for about 3 months. We saw each other mostly in our university class, and then decided to hang out, which by the way only happened twice.The 1st day, we hung for a long time,then at the end of the day, he wanted to do it to me, and preferred a FWB status. We are both in early 20s. I did not like it and told him I wanted something serious, although he said he did not have time for that. However, since I really like this guy, we hung out the 2nd time and he took me straight to his house to do it, but I refused. Later, we kissed and held hands. I am so confused, should I continue meeting him? I mean why does he like to kiss me and touch me like he is my boyfriend? He notices me being a little romantic towards him by wanting to kiss him every chance I get, yet he doesn't stop me. He actually likes touching me sensually. SO, where does this leave me, is there potential for a future, or should I leave him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): Having sex does not mean that you are intimate. Intimacy comes from the building a relationship and learning what you have in common through a reasonable amount of time for the individual.
I believe that men compartmentalize sex from love. To women more so than to men, sex is sex--just that. They enjoy it with no emotional attachments necessarily like most women do.
The guy has already told you he "doesn't have time." To hell with him! Wouldn't you expect that someone who feels that way is not sensitive to your feelings? The more you have sex with this jerk, the worse you will feel about yourself.
End it yourself immediately, don't tell him why because men mostly don't require explanations like women do, and move on to someone worth your time. He's a jerk! The element of surprise always works to "floor" his ego and will make you feel a heck of a lot better about yourself.
More advice: Don't be so quick next time to have sex. Men will think you are an "easy mark." Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. He hasn't changed his mind....he wants a sex buddy, you are grasping at straws, you let him have sex with you the first time you hung out, he didn't even have to ask you on a date. Guys will never see you as girlfriend material if you give them sex so easily, he will always wonder how many other guys you do this with no matter how much you protest and ask for a relationship....they think you have no self respect.
It is a stupid question to ask why he wants to kiss you and hug you....you haven't seen or heard from the guy in two months and he calls you because he knows you will be back soon and wants to see you...he knows you are into him and are an easy target.
You make guys earn the right to be with you by them stepping up and moving the relationship forward. He doesn't even want a real relationship and he has told you so.....you on the other hand want a boyfriend...you think your heart won't let him go but it is your lack of self esteem....you think he is a prize because he is hard to get and something you will never have....move on, grow some balls and find a real boyfriend if that is what you want....only you can control what you deserve.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys thank you so much, but I have some more news for u people. This entire summer I have been away for about two months in another place, and finally received a message from him stating that he wants to see me when I come back. What do I make of this? My heart longs for him every day, and I know my head tells me stay away from him, but I just can't seem to find anyone that matches up quite well with him. Should I give him a third chance without giving it up to him, or should I stay away from him once and for all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): i agree with everyone else as well...your not confused, it is as clear as water and he only wants to sleep and ditch you...the only reason why you feel confused is because you are trying to reason with the little things that he is doing to manipulate you as you already gave him a second date as well...leading him on will cause him to continue to play you and next thing you know youre going to fall flat on your face when he gives up and youve let feelings develop or actually end up giving it up to a jerk...be smart, stay away from guys like him, but one thing, he did make it clear from the beginning, maybe even more of a jerk because no decency whatsoever...thats not the kind of guy youd want as a BF, come on now!...there is real men out there that will treat you as you are so give yourself that worth and stay away from guys like him...goodluck!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): i agree with everyone else as well...your not confused, it is as clear as water and he only wants to sleep and ditch you...the only reason why you feel confused is because you are trying to reason with the little things that he is doing to manipulate you as you already gave him a second date as well...leading him on will cause him to continue to play you and next thing you know youre going to fall flat on your face when he gives up and youve let feelings develop or actually end up giving it up to a jerk...be smart, stay away from guys like him, but one thing, he did make it clear from the beginning, maybe even more of a jerk because no decency whatsoever...thats not the kind of guy youd want as a BF, come on now!...there is real men out there that will treat you as you are so give yourself that worth and stay away from guys like him...goodluck!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): I agree with everyone below.. and besides he already told you he wasn't interetsted in a relationship. I know you want him to be your BF and all.. but he does not. And he is trying to get you into bed by kissing and being nice to you!
As simple as that. I think you should run in the opposite direction. PRONTO.
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 He will do anything to get you to agree so he can get in your knickers but that doesnt mean he will ever want a serious relationship.
I have had 2 fwb's (at different times!) who were extremely loving and tender and we had hugs and cuddles and sometimes dates as well as sex but this didnt mean either of us wanted anything more.
He is playing you a little bit I think BUT he did make it clear he wanted nothing more.
Stay away as you sound as though you will probably fall in love with this guy and get hurt. There are plenty of guys out there who will love you how you want to be loved and want more than just sex. x
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Sorry Sweetie, but this guy wants a FWB! He is not interested in you as a person otherwise surely after 1 day he would not propose to have sex with you!! This guy is a jerk and I suggest you move on as he will only give you heartache.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Hell no, why does he like to touch you? After what he has told you, he isn't into you as in he wants to be your boyfriend, this guy is looking for a few notches on his headboard, he doesn't even soud remotely interested in being your friend. He likes your body and wants to get off USING that body...Is this OK with you?
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (19 June 2008):
 I can't quite get the picture of how this whole thing rolled, but I'm going to give you the basics here. If he wants FWB and you want something else -- like a steady, developing relationship, then the answer simple. Stop hanging around him and go out and find the serious relationship. I'm not quite sure if you want him hanging on you like you say he does or not. I mean, if you're hoping that he'll come around and want you as a GF, and yet acts like everything else but, then I think the chances of you getting what you want out of this seems slim. I think it's time to head out and find what you want the way you want it...
Now the interesting part is after you're gone, will he miss what he had and want to get a closer relationship with you. If that happens, be careful -- he's sounding like a player and might say anything to get you into the bedroom!
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