A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel so confused. Sorry this is so long!About 3 and half weeks ago the guy i was seeing (not 'officially') said that he still smiles at my photos, and that it would "be nice" to get a massage from me. We were only seeing each other casually i guess but for reasons we seemed to go with friends.... he said "friends for now/not ruling it out" He agreed to hang out about 3 -4 times but cancelled or backed out or changed the day and then still cancelled (totally messing up my days - is that his plan?) I wished him a merry christmas, and he wished me one too and asked what i was doing for it. I replied and asked him but no response. I have only heard from him twice in 12 days. It was arranged to see each other and he messaged me to say he was still out and wont have time as he starts work earlier and that we'll workout a day next week and maybe do lunch. He said he's feeling rushed and 'as you know i've already been under enough pressure' and "i'll check the roster and we'll work it out soon ok xo" (i lent him money and want to catch up to arrange transfer back - bit by bit) I replied, saying i dont mean to rush him. After i lent him the money he said "thank you so much for yesterday. it really meant a lot to me. want u 2 know. repay as soon as possible when i get my self sorted."Over the next week i sent about 4 sms all with no reply. He sends one a week later saying "3 sum?" He wouldn't be that careless to send it to me by accident so it had to be on purpose.... Its been 4-5 days since then. Ive sent one message with no reply. I was probably hounding him a bit too much about setting it up for the money, but with the cancelling and poor responding to sms it was making me feel uneasy! when i said that it "felt like ages since i seen you" or something to that affect he said that he hasn't seen 2 of his good mates in a year so it hasn't been "that long"....its been a month since i've seen him lolIm 99% sure that he's probably messing around with other girls anyways. I dont care. I dont really want to go back there anyways. So im at a lost at why he says these things and agrees to see me. I guess when i agreed to be friends i meant it...he is acting rather unappreacative of the fact i lent him money when he was in serious trouble. im not going to message him again until the end of the month. He's been hearing from me via text so he knows im 'around'... just doesn't reply. i dont think he'll end up sending me one.....Yet he told me "i care about you too" and when i told him i didn't say how i felt he said "you can tell me. im here". Would you be confused by this behaviour?Is there anything i should do?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 January 2009):
This is like your 5th question about this guy.
Seriously, he's OBVIOUSLY just flirting and looking for fun where as you want him to love you and be your boyfriend.
For your own sake, just back off him, or you'll get hurt.
He is not going to be the supportive cuddly man you want to hold you tightly. He's the type of guy that sends badly spelled texts about threesomes to you and that means he is NOT boyfriend material.
Sort your life out and find someone who wants you and not just someone to flirt with.
Good Luck!! xx
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