A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this guy knows I like him, I asked him out like 6 months ago and he rejected it by saying its because he doesn't really know me, but he showed signs of interest before so thats how I went to ask him out.Now that fall quarter has started he's been giving me more attention, he'll stare at me and try to keep eye contact. Sometimes he seems shy and not other times. Recently it's been kind of weird, and I'm not sure if he is playing games with me or if he is seeing someone or has other options. So we haven't really talked since the last time i asked him out. When we bump into each other he'll show signs of interest towards me, then i'll try my best to reciprocate, then after that he disappears for a few days and it just keeps repeating like this, and I've been seeing his friends every day. They always have this smile on their face when they see me, and I feel like they are taking turns watching me what I do. When he disappears my 1st thought was he's trying to play hard to get, and then now as i'm reading more and more stuff online i'm thinking maybe he is seeing other people, and all of it is really making it more confusing. I feel that he likes me by the stuff he has done, but now this disappearing/reappearing thing is throwing me off. I can't tell if this guy is playing me, using me, or just has his own issues. 6-8months ago he tried making me jealous by flirting with one of his friends, I just left and ignored him the next day, he looked uneasy and was trying to get my attention back. After that he hasn't done that anymore, and now if he is with friends that are girls he will keep a distance from them, and he'll show me that his attention is on me... I can't tell if that is all part of his game plan or are his feelings really true, and I have no clue about the disappearing/reappearing thing...
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): I don't think he is interested in you or in dating you or getting to know you. He is flattered by the attention though so he keeps it going by just paying you a little attention and his 'boys' think it is funny, too.
My suggestion is to just blow him off completely. He is either seeing someone else he likes or he is just not that into you and is pining away for someone else that he can't have...what difference does it make. If he was interested he would be chasing and pursuing you, and he isn't.
Forget about him and what he is doing and move on.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (23 October 2009):
 well, this is unusual. Since you asked him out and he rejected you then my advice is to move on. Get over him and meet other guys.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (22 October 2009):
He sounds like a child--do you really want to hang out with a manchild? Probably not. It sounds like he likes getting your attention and when he has it, he disappears.
I'm sure when you asked him out it got his attention (even though he did decline) and then you didn't keep asking him out or chasing him around (which is good and you shouldn't do that anyway) so now he tries to get your attention...then when he thinks he's succeeding in getting your attention, he runs off. That's what little boys do in elementary school. You know when you were on the playground and the same boy kept coming up to pester you, then you'd chase him for a second, you couldn't catch him, so when you quit paying attention to him, he came around to pester you again? That's what he's doing, and I think you should just set your sights on someone else. He had his chance, he's acting like a fool, and now it's time for someone else to catch your eye--someone that's worth your time.
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