A
female
age
26-29,
*ahblissah anderson
writes:Hello, It has been a while since I've been on this site. I have a question in the back of my mind that's been bothering me for quite some time. This will take a while to explain everything...First off, rewinding back to January of 2019:I've Started working on my GED and worked very hard (Passed it by now) I ended up making a friend. Who is a guy. I started not to say anything to him, since he didn't look like the friendliest face around, but I did anyway for some unknown urge to want to be his friend.Surprisingly he was nice and we chatted for a bit.We eventually hung out 2 months later. He ended up paying for my food. I just put it off as common courtesy of being a gentleman. He even gave me a ride home a few time, especially when it rained.A few weeks later after that (a girl in our class ended up teasing him and asking if he had a girlfriend) To which he said he did.I won't lie I was slightly disappointed. (Me being oblivious to my feelings growing into a crush on him) I say later in that week, the conversation ended up coming up and he said that he just told that girl that was teasing him that he had a girlfriend so that she would leave him alone. That he didn't have one, but he did say he had his eyes on a one particular girl, if she'd accept him eventually (Something along those lines)After that he basically given me rides home, and even took me out for lunch.Fast forward to April, I got him a small gift and wrote a letter to him of how I feel (You know, the normal crush-confession letter).I didn't get a reply at first (Mind you he was juggling a part time and school)I did get a reply two days later,He said something along the lines of that he's extremely flattered, but he would like us to just continue being friends. (Which I complete understood and was okay with, although I was a bit of a skeptic and thought we were going to go our separate ways...But we didn't I ended up meeting his family more than once, he ended up opening up a lot. He told me about his dreams, his job/work hours, what he was up to (although he is a bad texted and I'm the one to always text him first). I ended up going to church with him, almost every Sunday.We even went to summer classes together. And even though he graduated before I did, we still kept in touch. Even with his family.(I also forgot to add, he would even ask me questions on what I thought on certain topics to see my opinion) Now here's the crazy part...Fast forward to NovemberHe brought me a bed, a $300 bed, he brought me a dresser, he gave me his family's coffee table, I became best friends with his mom, Who is extremely nice. She brought me so many gifts and gave me so many things. (A few blankets and towels, and gave me bath and body works lotion). At first I thought she was being nice (Which no doubt in my mind she's doing it out of the kindness of her heart and I'm thankful.(She also admitted that her son has never did anything like that for anyone, not even his past girlfriends he had).Fast forward to January of 2020. me and my guy friend gets baptized on the same day. (Which was an amazing experience). I also ended up graduating in February and I finally graduated. His family want to take me out to celebrate the same day.He paid for a few gifts, and I was very grateful. I even went with his family to a night stroll at a giant park. I ended up being left with his mom, while him and his dad left us. (They are faster walkers).I involuntarily started making conversation with his mom and ended up telling her how I feel, to which she didn't have a problem with at all. She even encouraged me to talk to him more and message him if I really liked him. (I think she could tell from the very beginning, she didn't even look shocked or surprised). During the following week (Last week) of going to church I ended up getting a gift from his mom, and his dad gave me $20 and said someone anonymously gave it to me. (He refused to say who, so I couldn't thank them properly).So this is the string of events since last year(I also forgot to mention, my guy friend said at one point that he is a shy guy, but tries to get over it. Sometimes he shows a stoic persona, so I can't really read him.My own family keeps thinking that we are dating, but I have to keep telling them that we're not. Right now, i'm just confused to how does he feel, I'm not trying to ask him again, I don't want to lose him as a friend. (Even I got him a couple of gifts in the past). I just don't know, I wanted to see what other people on this site think.I've known him for over a year, liked him since April of last year. Sorry about the long essay,or if I'm rambling too much I just don't know what to think.What do you guys think?
View related questions:
best friend, crush, shy, teasing, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jahblissah anderson +, writes (15 March 2020):
jahblissah anderson is verified as being by the original poster of the question For everyone that replied, thank you! I will take everything that you've said into thought. I consider all of the possibilities with different scenarios of how anything can happen :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2020): Congrats on your graduation! Hope you will move-on to community college, or state college!
You've met a fine bunch of people! Even better, you've met a guy who has given his life to Jesus! He is the kind of guy that seems to be very kind at heart, demonstrative of how much he likes a person; but verbalizing where his feelings are might be hard for him. I can say this. He may not have felt anything more than friendship from the very beginning. I think you're growing on him; but he's still not sure what kind of feelings he has. You seem like a very sweet person! You too have given your life to Jesus as your Savior. Maybe divine intervention may be in the works here. He is a blessing, and he has introduced you to his lovely family who has embraced you as well. Christian people do extreme acts of kindness; because that's the little piece of God in us!
You've confessed your feelings to him before. Knowing all this, he still hasn't offered to officially-date you in a romantic sort of way. You seem to be in the process of rebuilding your life. Earning your GED, giving your life to the Lord, and establishing a fellowship with a family of Christian people. He is helping you to build your life as a good Christian should do for a friend. He is a doer, but not much of a talker. His feelings are in his actions.
I think he's focusing on getting his life to the place where he wants it to be; but he doesn't want to be distracted from his goals. Meanwhile, stay as close as you can. Listen to his parents, and ask the Lord what He thinks.
I think there may be a wonderful match in the making; but I think he wants you both to meet a few of your goals first. In all this time, he hasn't been dating any other girls! Hint! Hint!
...............................
A
female
reader, Chocolate-eyes86  +, writes (14 March 2020):
 Hey there!From what I gather after reading what you have expressed, your friend does like you and see you as someone special in his eyes. You both have been friends for some time and I know its not easy expressing how you feel but you managed to express this to him in your letter. The main questions you could ask yourself to get more clarity in this situation is to compare yourself to others in his life. I understand he is quite reserved person, does he have many girl-friends? No. He told a lie to the girl teasing him indicating that he did not want to admit to that girl hes not feelings for you, heck he did not even confirm it with you let alone tell another girl his secret feelings for you! You are close with his mother and family, they accept you in their family and inner circle, does that happen with all his girl-friends that he may have? or just you? You are close to his mum in such a way you expressed your feelings about her son to her and she encourages you to communicate with him more! As a mother she knows her son best and would not give you false hope in any way, a mother knows how her sons personality and character is. Makes you wonder what he has expressed to his mum for her to be encouraging your relationship further! This all looks positive! But one thing is, I have a feeling he might have been hurt in the past hence he is taking things slow. Its not a bad thing because, time is a strong foundation to develop trust in a friendship, and the best relationships start from strong friendships! He is someone who takes time because everyone in the beginning keeps their guards up! But you sound like a very lovely friend to have in his life and hes opened uo the biggest door in his life which is his family - to you! You are both sharing life experiences and journey together which will deepen your friendship and love for each other, for instance, Baptisms together, sharing about his goals and ambitions, trusting and opening up to you, going church together, you're both bonding a strong connection.Overall this all looks positive, you don't need to do or say anything further on your part he loves you just the way you are, and its now something on his part he needs to express if he wants something further than just friendship, will this lead to a relationship. (Which I think will most likely!) He values your presence, time and energy and if anyone needs to talk about becoming girlfriend and boyfriend, it will come from him soon.
...............................
|
