A
female
age
41-50,
*anthie
writes:i have been seeing a gorgeous man for a while now and i am deeply in love with him but i get confused by him one - minute he tells me he's in love with me and tells me I'm beautiful but then i get the feeling he doesn't want me around. I don't want to put pressure on him, I dont want him to go away I just don't seem to know how to say the right thing without it sounding like pressure . please can you help me ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2007):
 The best way to get him to want you more is to draw away from him and busy yourself more. Don't be so available to him. Is he actually married? If he's not married then it will be easier for him to break away from this other relationship, not so easy if he's married. Does he have children in this other relationship?
You say you are also in a relationship. Why aren't you finishing this relationship? Better to be with him than nothing if this affair doesn't work out? If I were you I would finish the relationship you're in, he's not for you and you can't be truly happy with him if you're seeing someone else. It's not fair to him either so get out of this.
Then you need to distance yourself from this other guy. Make him miss you more. Ask him what his intentions are with you. Does he see a future with you or what? If he doesn't then you need to end it as he's only going to hurt you. You say you KNOW it will end eventually why? Is he married?
Eve
A
female
reader, manthie +, writes (8 March 2007):
manthie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your replies. the full story about this relationship is that we are both in seperate relationships and we have been having an affair since before christmas. i have fallen deeply in love with this man and he says loves me but one minute hes all over me then he seems really distant. does he really feel this way about me ? if i ask him will he think im pressuring him and go away ? i dont want it to end but i know it will eventually. im a confident person but when it comes to him i never know what to say or how to say it.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (6 March 2007):
You seem a bit insecure in yourself. You need to be more assertive and believe in yourself more. I don't mean for you to have a go at him when you ask him, be nice about it and just talk to him about it. Don't be a doormat to him though, have more respect for yourself. Why do you have the feeling sometmes that he doesn't want you around? What does he do to make you think this way?
Eve
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A
female
reader, manthie +, writes (6 March 2007):
manthie is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i should talk to him and i really want to but if he turned round and said he didnt really feel that way about me it would rip me apart i worry that im too full on sometimes and even when he pays me a complement i think he maybe saying just to please me. i know i'm stupid i try and act all confident but deep down im always wanting reassurance
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (6 March 2007):
Then you need to talk with him and ask him why he keeps blowing hot and cold with you all the time. He either wants this relationship or he doesn't. YOU have the right to want to know where you stand too so be assertive and ask him. It could be he has baggage that you don't know about...
Eve
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