A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid..I am so confused. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and love him to pieces. But for years, since I started secondary school I have always fancied girls and guys. It started by having crushes on girl teachers. I met my boyfriend when I was 16 and now I am 19 we are still together and I'm happy. However, I really want to try and have a fling with a girl. I know it's cheating, but there was this one girl who I have been obsessed with for ages, and we text each other non stop for a long time, and flirted. She hangs out with gay guys and girls but she had a boyfriend who she has recently split up from... Although she shows so many signs that she is bi, but she doesn't talk to me now.. And I would love to talk to her again but don't know how. I also don't know how to approach a girl who I think is attractive, as I wouldn't want to make myself look stupid if she is straight, like how would I know if she is or isn't???Help me please
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female
reader, abeautifulday  +, writes (25 July 2014):
I would tell your boyfriend about your girl curiosity, and don't worry coming out/ exploring sexual feelings for someone of the same gender isn't a straightforward process. You will find yourself going back and forth, sometimes really desiring, other times repressing it. I went through that process many many years. I would try and talk to the girl and bring her her bisexuality, ask her in a conversation if she ever really tried something with a girl, because you felt like she hangs out with gay people and therefore seems open to it. If she does say no, you just say you were curious so you asked. Nothing else. If you are curious and want to explore, I would tell my boyfriend and maybe take a break in your relationship. You can try to find chats of like minded people, find out which gay organizations there are in your neighborhood, and maybe join some activities. If a girl is really openly flirting with you, you will feel it, and you can ask her why she is flirting with you. There are many ways to approach the subject carefully without really putting yourself out there too much. Good luck with your exploration!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 July 2014):
 if you are emotionally cheating you are still cheating.
if you are bi-curious and want to try it the best thing to do is talk to your boyfriend before you do anything..l. find out if he's ok with you experimenting with girls... be aware that if you ask and get this permission, he has the same right with guys or girls....
I think being curious is harder than knowing where you stand and choosing not to act on it. I think figuring out what you want/need is crucial at your age... since you are already partnered your partner needs to be involved with your choice... out of respect for him and the relationship.
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