A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex BF wants to be friends, I know I am still in love with him, but he has major issues he needs to iron out, I also have some trust issues with him so I really don't see us getting back together. He wants to stay friends and we kind of have to because we have a child together, but I find it so hard to talk on the phone to him. I fill like he made the chioce and now calls someone else his GF so why conversate and want to spend time with me. He asks me to go places with him I would think he would want to go with is GF for the experience with each other. This really confuses me. I guess my question is why is it so easy for him to want to stay friends with me, but so hard for me to stay friends with him? Thanks in advance, some of the people really have taken your experiences from life and have learned from them and GIVE VERY GOOD ADVICE!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, joyriv +, writes (31 October 2007):
I know exactly what your fealling. I was in the same situation when my ex left me while I was pregnant with his child. He wanted to be friends, not friends w benifits or anything like that just friends. Yet we would talk and he would hug me and hold my hand and give me mixed signals. I was still in love with him, and didnt just want to be his friend I wanted to make things work. So things stayed that way till right after I had the baby. What I did at that point was I sat down with him had a really long talk (I did most of te talking) and told him how I fealt and what I wanted for us and gave him some choices. If he wanted to be friends, then the hand holding and the hugs would have to stop and the relationship would be strictly for the baby. Or he can hold my hand... and we can try to make another go of it. In my case unfortunately he decided he was too imature to deal with it all and cut me off completely and hasnt been a part of his sons live since he was 3 months old. But you have to let him know how you feel. Give him some options that will work for YOUR benifit, not his. Maybe he will realize what hes got with you and the kid. He'll see that its you he wants and decide that leaving you was a mistake. He'll stay with you, and you'll be a happy family. If he decides to leave thats ok, too. You need to be strong for your kid. You cant be his Yo-Yo and have him pull you around like that. Its not worth it to sacrifice your sanity, and your emotional stability to be someone elses toy.
Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Do you really want that pain. And what about your next b/f he ain't going to want a rival around.
2 company 3 a crowd.
Good luck
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