A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've known this guy for over a year and although he's lived a long way away from me for most of this, we've kept very much in touch as friends and have always had a fairly flirty relationship. now he is living much closer to me and i've gone to stay with him and he's gone to stay with me a few times and we'd messed around though not slept together. he's always made it clear that he really liked me. all his friends knew about me and he was always really sweet towards me, and the last time i went to stay with him we did sleep together, after which he said that he was really glad that we were both sober and certainly seemed like he really liked me. the problem is that now i've been back home for a few days and he hasn't called, emailed or even texted me, even though he told me he'd call me. what's going on? it seems a lot of effort to go to if he really did just want me for sex, and he really doesn't seem like the sort of guy to do that. i don't want to make the first move as i want to see how he's going to take it from here, but i'm really confused.
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female
reader, missnatd03 +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Theres a great chance that he is just as confused as you and does not know wether to phone you or not, As theres a chance of him looking to eager if you have heard nothing by next month drop him a subtle e-mail asking him how he is if that fails phone him and make it clear that you still want to be friends and dont want you to sleeping together to ruin that, if there a realationship was supposed to form from you to it will happen naturally hope this has helped you x
A
female
reader, joannaleigh  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Hi Confused Girl :),
I completely feel your pain. It's always difficult to try to understand what somebody else might be thinking, especially after you've been intimate with them. I would keep two basic facts in mind: the first, that your friend has a history of being a pretty good guy toward you, so it does seem somewhat unlikely that he was just looking for a hook-up. The second is that in guy-time, when he says he'll call, it does not mean immediately. So, I wouldn't read too far into the timeline.
What I WOULD do, however, it to casually clarify things with him. This can be accomplished by simply giving him a call and saying "Hey, sorry I haven't called, been really busy, but I'd love to get together!" Then go hang out. Casually sort out the situation, but do not put him on the spot or bring up the fact that he hasn't been in touch (it will make him feel cornered). See how he behaves around you, what he says/does.
Let him know you had a great time with him last time at his place, you'd be into continuing it, if he was, if not, that's cool also (be VERY casual about it, or you'll freak him out). And then just see what happens, honey. Either way, you will have your answer :)
I wish you tons of luck!
joannaleigh
www.whatwouldjoannado.com
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 He is probably also as confused as you are. Why not you make the first move?
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