A
female
age
30-35,
*ittle-political-miss
writes:I’ve been dating this guy for about 2 months. We actually met at a Starbucks – I was working and he walked up to me and we started talking. At first, he seemed really interesting – he kept talking to me even after I gave him attitude for bothering me. I think over the 2 months we’ve actually hung out a total of 7 times. I’ve asked him to meet my friends a few times and he’s been ‘busy’ each time. Last time we went out (over a week ago) I asked him if he actually wanted a girlfriend and if he saw ‘this thing’ with us heading in that direction. I was scared to ask him if he ‘wanted to be my boyfriend’ – Cause who actually says that to someone? It seemed clingy and maybe too soon to me. His answer was actually just, “Yes, I do.” That’s it.I guess my concern is that he doesn’t make enough of an effort to see me. How can we have a relationship if we only see each other once every 2 weeks? I understand that he’s really busy with work, but so am I. If I’m willing to make time for him, isn’t it fair to ask him to do the same? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 June 2014):
 oh you should NEVER cancel plans to go be with a man.
and the fact that he asks just a few hours before means you are but a mere afterthought to him.
set him free. be busy. say NO. he'll get the message.
either he will step up his game (doubtful and if he does it will be temporary)
or he will fade into your past.
A
female
reader, little-political-miss +, writes (10 June 2014):
little-political-miss is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUnfortunately, when we do hang out... It's him who usually asks, but only a few hours before. I've had to cancel on my friends a few times to hang out with him... I've tried making plans with him - I wanted to go to the art museum and I wanted to watch a movie - and he sort of ignored those plans...
I guess you folks are right... It's time to pull the plug on this sort-of relationship, I think.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 June 2014):
words are just words. Actions are what you need to listen to (unless a man says all he wants is FWB or he doesn't love you... those are truths always)
He says one thing and he does another. Listen to his actions.
I would stop calling him. I would stop texting him. I would stop making the plans and stop rowing the relationship boat all together with this guy and see what happens.
Let him prove to you that he's serious about wanting you to be his gf. He may want A gf but it may just be a generic thought... if you live close to each other and he can only manage to see you every other week that's not a lot of effort you are correct.
who does most of the calling and planning?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 June 2014):
Sooo... Why don't you ask him? If he says this is all he can offer you than you probably should look elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 You've more or less answered this yourself. Deep down you know that the man you really want in your life will treat you like a queen. You shouldn't have to claw at a relationship, it should come natural with respect for each other, equally giving. Dump him. (nicely of course). Hope this helps
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