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I'm concerned for my friend who is in love with an older man...how do I tell her?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2008)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My best friend is the same age as me.(We'll call her Clara) Anyway she loves this guy who is 26! 12 years older than her. What should I do?

Should I tell Clara she needs to forget about him and move on. Cause there is this other guy 15 (lets call him Andrew)who is really nice to Cara and loves her. Clara used to love him until she met the 26 year old. Andrew and Clara are so perfect for each other.

Is her love for the 26 year old just some hormones or what? Clara is my best friend and all and I'm concerned for her what should I do?

View related questions: best friend, move on, older man

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

You are being a good friend by being concerned about her, unfortunately she may not listen. When I was 15 I was dating a man who was 26. I got my heart broken to say the least when he dumped me after taking my virginity, and then I found out he was married!!

Now that I am older I can finally see that he was only after me for one thing, and I was used.

I didn't listen to my friends who could not understand what I saw in him, but he made me feel more grown up and cool. He knew all the right things to say to me, and I fell for his charms. When really he just thought i was young and stupid and would do whatever he asked of me (which I did).

The best thing you can do is advise her not to sleep with this man, whatever he may say and try to get her to date people her own age, but don't pressure her else she will probably just not talk to you and think you are jealous of her (because that's what he will tell her).

Be there for her when she needs you and DON'T say I told you so, when it all ends in tears.

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2008):

love-him agony auntHEY!!

Just to let you know, your account says you are 22-25. If this 14 year old is in love with a 26 year old man, then nothing can happen. It is illegal. Does this man like her? You need to make sure your friend knows nothing can legaly happen between them..

Feel free to mail me at any time x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

Um it says I'm a female age 22-25 well thats wrong. I'm fourteen. Please answer someone! I have no idea what to do about my friend. Is it even my any of my business?

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