A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is a virgin, and I'm not. He wants me to take charge and guide him, which I totally understand and would be happy to do except for the fact that I'm clueless myself. I've been with one guy, who was really sexually aggressive and focused only on himself. Sex never felt good to me, there wasn't any foreplay and it didn't last long. He also ended up raping me.While I'm extremely nervous about being the "experienced" one I look at it as a good thing to have someone who wants to take their time, and genuinely cares that I enjoy myself too. But I don't know what to do. Eventually when we have sex he would like me to be on top the first few times, a position I've only had to do twice and hated for various reasons.Any tips for 'teaching' when I have nothing to teach, being less nervous and maybe actually enjoying being on top?
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male
reader, Aubergene  +, writes (5 June 2010):
I think if you are truthful with him he will understand and you can learn from each other I am sure you will do fine just don't panic and try to get him to help as much as possibly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): be honest with him...that should take the pressure off. then take it slow, and as the others have said have fun learning together. and as miamine says, at least for the first few times, he needs to be on top. good luck sweetheart. mal
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Sorry.. best if he goes on top...
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 June 2010):
Not get hopes worked up... (sigh.. need dictionary)
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 June 2010):
Yes.. equality works best here.. Throw away what you think you know, and pretend your two aliens from out of space, exploring and getting to know each other. Laughter is the best, try to get your hopes worked up, because sometimes things go wrong.
It's best if you go on top, the rhythm is better.. but just let the feelings and the sensations guide you.. when the time is right, you'll both move naturally into the right position, be it on top, from the back or upside down or swinging from the roof..
Throw away your "supposed" experience, it won't help here, and it's not needed, it better to think of this as the first time done with love, thus you and him are as innocent and unknowing as each other.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_index.shtml (For your eyes only, to show you what things are possible and what is allowed.... After the first time you can look at it together and choose something from the menu) Don't try to be a superstar, just have fun and make sure you laugh a lot.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 You have a wonderful opportunity here. Instead of fumbling a back seat somewhere, you can approach this as adults. Forget about teaching him. To the extent you're experienced you want to forget it. So do -- forget about it. Treat this as mutual exploration into terra incognita. Teach him about what works for you, let him teach you about what works for him. Try things out, see what works and what doesn't. Sounds fabulous -- enjoy!
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