A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 8 years and have a 2 year old daughter. I love my daughter to bits and will do anything for her. I have fallen deeply in love with another women 2.5 years ago and we've been together since. The feelings i have for this other women is unbelievable. I cant stop thinking about her and i know that she is the one for me and im the one for her. She is also married and is willing to leave her husband. She has 2 kids of her own. I have taken alot of time to think about this situation for the "ducking and diving" and lying is driving me crazy and her too. I have decided to divorce my wife for im following my heart and i wanna be happy, and she makes me happy .. but i am worried about my daughter. I know my wife will leave town, away from me, and asked this other women if she will come with. She said she will do it once but not more. I know i wont be able to live with myself if im away from my daughter because i wont be there for her. I need to be there for my daughter. Any advice ? thank you
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female
reader, Honeygirl +, writes (24 March 2011):
 In the south african courts, the mother will get custody, so yes, she will then dictate just how much you will see your daughter and for how often and whether those visits are chaparoned or not.
Usually during a bitter divorce, and let me tell you without knowing any other facts, yours WILL be a bitter divorce, your wife will make your life a living hell. Your child will become the 'pawn' in the divorce... and yes, your child will feel more pain than you will ever realise.
Its like throwing a stone into a pond - its the ripple effect of who gets hurt by your actions.
I understand you think this other woman is your soulmate, however I feel that you have not given your marriage or your wife a chance.
What you are experiencing with the gf is only the exciting things, after 8 years with her are you are going to be bored and looking elsewhere or will she get bored and look elsewhere???
Your gf says that she would be willing to leave her husband for you, and you say you will leave your wife for her, okay - so who is going to make the first move - chances are that she will want to 'try again' with her spouse and you will have divorced your wife.... so who will be the looser?
Also, honestly, with both of you with a history of cheating on your respective spouses, will there ever be complete trust??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): I just want to say, please be one hundred percent sure that you want to leave your wife for this woman.
At one point your wife must have been "the one" too.
A friend of mine has just had his Dad leave his Mom for another woman.
His Dad has just realised what he was really giving up and who for.
And he can't take it back.
That's all I ask... be sure.
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