A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:please help, i don't know what's wrong with me really. my boyfriend of a year is pretty much the perfect boyfriend. he does everything for me, he supports me, he loves me, he makes me coffee in the morning, he respects me carries my bags, doesnt drink or do drugs, i always know where he is, never goes out with the lads, works hard, is committed.. and i'm finding him boring to be honest.i'm 23 and we take this relationship very seriously. well i think he does more than me because i'm sure i have issues with commitment and "tying" myself to somebody, then thats it- even though i really do want to get married. my relationship history is patchy- ive never got to more than 6 months with most guys before i'm bored and i decide i want out, and i wonder why i got into the relationship in the first place, and focus on finding somebody new. i know theres this old advice about staying single etc etc, and ive done that, believe me, but i know what i'm like and then i get taken with somebody and pulled in and carried away, then the novelty wears off and thats that. i'm a romantic with a short attention span and to be honest slightly obsessive tendencies, i tend to be very taken with things for a short time, like jobs, bands, whatever then get bored and want out. i'm also prone to having crushes on work colleagues, shop assistants, actors, whoever, and i want things to be sparkly and exciting and butterflies, but a long term relationship isnt that, i know, yet i still cant help looking at other men.my bf is 7 years older than me and knows me better than anybody, and to be honest is very tolerant of me, because i'm difficult to live with and very stubborn and independent. we never go out on the town together, we just stay at home. he doesnt even drink. which has a good side, considering some of the people ive been with, but hes a bit.. well boring. he hasnt got much charm or confidence or cockiness, not like some of the men i've been out with. but most of these people have been chancers. i think the problem is with my inability to settle down, even though i want to, i can't help fantasizing about other men constantly and wild scenarios. i know i'm lucky when i see the way other peoples bfs treat them, but i'm bored with the coziness and home plans and the fact i have to be "committed" and the constraints of being in a couple. how can i change how i am?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Darling000  +, writes (27 December 2008):
Hi there
I feel in this exact position, i have just gotten back with my bof of 4 years, after a years break, and already after 5 months, i am bored. He is amazing and does everything right, but i am constantly looking for new oportunities, like travelling, adventure and other men. Its not the way i want to be, because i know he would want to settle down and have children now if i was ready.
Boy, what is the answer!?@!?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): Your only bored because it is you who really is boring and ,other wise you would be injecting so much adventure and excitment into your life that you would not be bored, even including other men, boyfreinds permission of course.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 December 2008):
 I think we only change when we realize our behavior is bad for us. Sometimes we don't change despite that realization. You need to put the effort if you want to change.
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