A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, a few weeks ago my fwb told me he loved me over the phone (I did post about it here) I thought he was joking as he shows no signs of this "love" and said "no you don't" I had to go straight after as I was hiding in the toilets at work on my phone at the time. He text me straight away after saying sorry I shouldn't lie like that (wtf?!) He's 28 btwWell since then I've hardly heard from him. No Merry Christmas no Happy New Year - I texted him on both occasions and a few times since all of which I've received no reply.What do I do? I really like him but he's pushing me away we've known each other for years and I hate it like this I miss him so much but he makes me feel like I am nothing to him and really if he was just taking the piss saying that to me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): I think you are forgetting the FWB terms.
Friends, with (sexual) benefits. He caught himself in his "love lie" and you knew it was a lie.
He backed off entirely. This was not a relationship it was an arrangement,right? Now he is not even being a friend.
Honey, if he was truly a good friend to you (regardless of how long you have known each other) he would have at least wished you a Happy Holiday. Let that one go and find a grown up man that will respect you and be MORE than just a FWB. True friends do not "use you and lose you".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): You just rejected a guy who took a chance to be vunerable and said he loved you.You won't hear from him a long time, if ever.Men don't do vunerable very easy and they don't do rejectiong overly well either. This guy is hurting and its best for him to work it out being angry which means silence.You are now out of sight, out of mind to him until he gets to a happier and safer place.It may not seem fair to you but really, if you had said that and he invalidated it- you would be just as hurt and angry and on here venting about his rejection and how dare he tell you how you feel.He wasn't pushing you away- you were dumb and thought playing a game would get you what you want.He said he lied about it to cover his hurt feelings and I think, end things.You can either do some humble pie and be honest and fair, or let it go and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply he wasn't drunk - this was at dinner time and he rang me because he was in bed I have even asked him to meet up since then and heard nothing back. This morning I text him - never know when he's working - telling him I don't understand him he acts like he likes me, then ignores me but again no reply.He know I like him a while ago I told him how I felt and he just told me all that wouldn't happen. Last time we met he told me we can't be together its just fun etc he's always been the reinforcing to me that its just FWB
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): He might have been drunk when he said it or he could have meant it and the way you pretty much laughed it off he was heartbroken and now has decided to walk away and try and get over you.
Texts are easy to ignore OP especially when you still haven't told him how you feel. He comes out with this absolutely massive thing, proclaiming his love for you and not only do you laugh it off and treat it like a big joke. You don't even mention it at all after that.
It sounds to me like one big misunderstanding here and some crossed wires. So you need to phone him, or send him a detailed email or message explaining your side of things and being open and honest about your feelings. He may well feel crushed and even if your suspicions are the correct ones at least you'll have been able to tell him how you feel and get closure.
So you need to revisit this issue with him and let him know what happened.
Personally I think he's handling this really badly and not being nice at all but if he's heartbroken then it may be forgivable.
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