A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, my husband has only increased his drinking since our marriage 8 years ago. he has quite grand ideas about himself and considers himself to be a blessing to humanity. He started physically abusing me from the 3rd month of getting married, even while i was pregnant with the first kid. in the last two years, he became very appearance conscious and started behaving more distant, saying the relationship was evolving. There were many outrageous lies in this phase where he has locked his phone, has become vey secretive, accuses me of being insecure but refuses to spend time with our child or me. on occasions when he has like taking us for movies or holiday, he has made it seem like he is doing us a big favour and is carrying out some duties, while proclaiming that he loves us. during last two years, physical battery has only magnified. he has hit me..very very badly, kicking punching, pulling my hair, spitting on me while drunk, even other wise. now i am about to have my second child. earlier he had me beileve that i was worthless, lazy, restrained his lifestyle and was cramoing his style with my insecurities and jealousy. i caught some texts on his phone earlier to women on his visits abroad. i am carrying my second child now. last month he confessed to having slept with another woman, wh is a foreigner and that they both love each other. he asked me if i could accept her also. says he loves me too. i told hm he is free to do whatever, but he must let me go first.. the sad part is that i have these two kids now and i had quit my work some time ago. i dont like asking for money. i loved him to insane limits and trusted him, hoping that he wud turn oover a new leaf. now i dont know what to do. i dont even have frieds here...nor do i feel that i should talk about this to anyonei am so broken.... self esteem at rock bottom, finances zilch and emotional support zero. driving myself crazy. please help.my first child is very small and sensitive. he hasseen me being hit and battered. but he wants to live with both of us. dont know if i should stay or leave?
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drunk, insecure, jealous, money, self esteem, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 The answer is... leave.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (9 February 2010):
 First, be calm and cold and calculative. Your and your childrens life need it from you. Assess all evidence and search for good lawyer. Only good lawyer can help you in the situation you narrate. Don't be traditional female, who happen to say about her blind love about husband. Now the time is changed. Modern culture has good sense of morality. All laws and justice will help you and favor you. Tell them what you here write.
Think, this as a sympathy and blessing from a person who lead your father's age.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 February 2010):
You are better off leaving and just getting as far away as you can. Otherwise he might start hitting your child, or he might kill you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): see...though i am 16 but my thought process is not like a normal teenager.its really hard sometimes to believe that the person whom u love doesn't love u..but truth is truth..u said he's beating u...dear don't mind but ur first fault is y r u getting beated by him?protect urself..if he beats 1 u beat 2.u r inviting trouble like this..by letting him do what he wants. what!!!after all these stuffs..u r thinking to live with him.
NO.plz go away..immediately..there's no point to live with him.this is not love shown by him.he is treating u as a servant...but tell him that u dun need him..ya really..i know it hurts but u have to leave him.as per ur kids r concerned..i think u shuld g with some other man...and if he tries to torture much..just go n complaint to the police..yes dun get tortured by him.now dun be that abla nari..india has changed,i swear next time if he beats take a hunter n beat him off!!he will think twice next time..n as per money is concerned...give him a divorce and u'll get it.there's no point leaving with such an inhuman person. best of luck.remember
ALL IZZ WELL!!!!:)
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