A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Been with my partner for about a year and half (the first year was spent being long distance) before he moved back up here where we see each other every weekend (due to work). Lately, I have felt we are arguing/disagreeing more and I'm getting upset about little things. It doesn't help that I feel I am competing with his 5 flatmates. I don't think they really like me and it's an awkward atmosphere when I am round at his, resulting in me just wanting to spend time with him rather than integrating with the flat. He has just recently told me that he doesn't know what I want from us. That it's me vs the flatmates. And now I'm questioning if I'm getting in the way of his other life. That was a bit of a ramble but I'm just left feeling like I don't know where to stand. And I've tried to explain this but I can't seem to find the right words.
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female
reader, phoebealex +, writes (5 December 2018):
Ok lets try and look at this more positively, You have both moved in together dating for a year so you obviously both enjoy each others company on a non-living together basis. However you did say you have only see each other on the weekends, If the flatmates are making you feel awkward and creating that sense of anxiety and stress within yourself then thats bound to make you become snappy and agitated because like it or not we always take it out on the people closest to us. Maybe express that you don't feel like you have much in common with them? Suggest a night out at a pub as a flat? night in and cook? everyone loves food. Or better yet focus on your relationship and spend your weekend getting out of the confined environment of the flat and actually do something fun with your boyfriend you are still so young and need to keep the spark alive.He might be questioning your intentions if you have isolated yourself from the flat I don't know him but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you are getting in the way of his life else he wouldn't have put you there in the first place. Communication is key so GET OUT OF THE FLAT and have chat. Also, food for thought, if your love for him goes past his annoying flatmates and you are both serious about each other why not suggest moving out together or getting another house share Im sure there are ways to improve your living conditions without breaking the bank.but after all of that you do really need to question, what do you really want from this? Is he worth it? Is this worth your happiness and mental health
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2018): Maybe your relationship has run its course and it's time to move on. You seem to be the unhappy one, and you hold your fate in your own hands. It's stay and be miserable, or leave and find somebody else.
You're getting upset about little things, and you're arguing a lot. So what are you holding-on to?
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