A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I cheated on him in the beginning, but after healing he decided we should stay together and said he knew our love was stronger than ever which I felt too. We went to separate colleges because he was going to play basketball, but right before the season started he said he wanted to transfer to my school because he missed me. I helped him for countless hours on the application process, and all the plans were made for his move. Then two weeks before second semester started he told me via text that he had been lying the whole time to make me happy and he really loved his school (which he had gone into extreme detail to say that he hated it) and wanted to play basketball. I immediately knew something more was up, because I know his personality very well. He continued to tell me not only that, but that he wanted to be able to be free and go out to parties. He said he didn't think he should be with me because i was controlling and tried to keep him from doing what made him happy. He later apologized and convinced me to come visit him for christmas break. We spent ten amazing days together, and he said he was reassured everything would be fine. He also told me he had lied about things the first semester such as girls being over and drinking. It made me wonder if he could lie about more stuff too. After he left he went right back to being short with me. I did the ultimate relationship no no and checked his facebook. My intuition had been right, he was talking to a ton of girls from his school bashing me for making him miserable and saying that he couldn't wait to hang out with them and have them over to his dorm. I was furious, I didn't say what I did but got very short and told him if he wanted to end things to do it now. He said he was fine but still got short, so the next day I called him out again and he said I'm done I can't handle you. Somehow I'm still the one begging for a conversation with him. He won't answer my calls and he writes back to my texts being short and saying maybe if you hadn't been so controlling we could have been together, yet hes the one who lied. I would like to send back that he should try being honest for once, but I would rather just fix things. I want to go visit him to do thigns face to face, but don't know if that will only hurt things. Should i continue texting him/how do i stop? should i go to visit? in case you hadn't already figured it out we have a lot of physical history and had made plans for our future and a family together, so needless to say im' traumatized that he can end things so quickly with seemingly no emotion.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 It seems like he has a lot going on for him where he is now and he doesnt want to give that up. You will be in for a long trying time with him if you do get him back. I think he doesnt want to carry on seeing you from what you write. Try to get over him. Let him make all the moves now and at least there's your answer anyway if he doesnt. A lot of relationships once they come to the end will end this way, quickly and emotionlessly because they've made their mind up and just want a quick, easy, exit.
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