A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's the weirdest thing. I'm just not comfortable around people, even my friends. I mean, I just started really hanging out with them alone, and I find I'm struggling for thing to say and I'm worrying about what they think. Then whenever I do come out and say something or laugh, it feels awkward. I used to have friends that I could just talk to for hours about absolutely nothing and we'd still have a good time, but everyone I'm friends with now, or who I meet are just really awkward around me.I'm 25 years old if that matters.I actually hate this feeling so much. It's like I'm too boring to hangout with or something, although I think I'm actually a really interesting person. The last good friend I had I could talk about absolutely anything with and we'd have fun and we could do anything around eachother without feeling weird, but then we dated and the messy breakup caused us to hardly ever talk.My friends all have best friends. I'm the only one who doesn't. It feels really weird when I see how close they all are to eachother and I'm just an outsider. Maybe I'm introverted and socially inept or something, but sometimes I do have a really good time. I just can't hang out with the same people very frequently or it feels awkward. I hate that :( I feel like there's something wrong with me and no one wants to be around me !Sometimes I even hear people talking behind my back about how they think I'm weird and it really gets me down. I've felt like this for a long time now. I like me, and other people seem to like me at first, but it ALWAYS ends up getting awkward !What do I do ? O_o
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female
reader, KlassyKirsty  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Hi there :)The relationship with old friends being diminished is a natural phase of life im afraid as some people come and go in life whereas others stay permanently in ur life :)if u make the decision to actively engage and branch out in a new social circle for e.g joining a club in ur local community :)Dont allow other people's mindless invalid opinions of u dent ur self esteem, at the end of the day, worthless gossip fuels a conversation, as soon as u learn to become slightly less self conscious it will soar, and u will feel more comfortable in a social setting. note that sometimes silence is golden, and sum times conversations do tail off for a brief moment.If u feel that u may classify this as social anxiety disorder or a social phobia, dont hesitate to seek help if there is a deeper cause for this. Also, being introverted does not necessarily mean that u r antisocial, just u require personal time to reflect more frequently and being a little stronger willed than people pleasers :)Good luck and keep ur head held high :) xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Hey, don't let other people make you feel awkward. If you honestly feel uncomfortable around people it may just be that something changed with you when you dated that girl?
It sort of sounds like it happened recent, the breakup. Regardless of the situation a relationship doesn't define who you are and what your personality should/shouldn't be like. Just start going to places you enjoy and with people you feel you can relate to.
Trust me the close friendship will happen again. You will feel comfortable again just give it time. The awkwardness kind of sounds like you are trying to force a situation or conversation. If you honestly don't know what to say, don't say anything. Let your friends talk to you and just honestly say what comes to mind without over thinking. Trust me the awkwardness will pass.
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