A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am attract to jerks,who treated me like dirt who are selfish,mean,arrorgant,indepdent,shallow,ambitious,competitive,aggresstive,domneering,intimating,boastful,who only get a girlfreind when ever its suits and to show her off.when its suits or eles he,ll be happy playing the field when its suits.why do i like thses type of guys why,i feel sick when i do.there is something really wrong with me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): The short answer to your question of WHY are men like this is because WE CAN BE and we'll find someone foolish enough to be a doormat. This is going to sting but you need to 1 take some time for yourself (I agree with not dating for 1-3 months) 2 love yourself first (this could take a while) 3 date casually DIFFERENT types of guys (so you see a range - frankly date everyone who asks - BUT keep it casual and go slow) 4 give love and affection slowly to those who deserve it (you now give love to anyone who is 'hot' you only should give affection for an act of kindness) 5 kindness is important to you ie dump a guy who isn't kind. At least you realise your pattern which is a HUGE start but do you have the mental toughness to do the above?A couple of other tips: 1 let a friend be your relationship coach and she makes the decisions (weird BUT if you've made bad decisions before, why trust yourself for a while) and 2 zen buddhism helps you build a sense of calm and confidence (again weird but try it first). Good luck god bless amd SMILE!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): hi this is me whorte the post on the left hand side.
well i decided i don,t want a boyfreind any more nice or not.i don,t want any male freinds either i can do with out them do.at least being on my own is safe i won,t get rejected and my feeling won,t be hurt i won,t be intimated,fearful any more.boyfreinds aren,t for me.as you can see. bad taste in guys leads to brken hearts and rejection.but i wouldn,t take a nice guy for granted unlike the guys who take girls like they were free and eay.
if any more advice do tell.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): well i was in the nightclub which i though by mistake who i train martial arts,he was already drinking since 7 o clock that night.well he was freindly to me.he had around my wasit i suppse and its seem very freindly.he asked to buy me a drink i said no i was granted,he was talking to me well he was pissed a bit.we to vip section of the nighclub.well next i knew he personality changed,he didn,t want to seen with in nighclub or stand beside me.i asked him to dance twice he said no,he went off kissin another in front of me, then he started me about all he his girlfreinds and he disspeared on me ,some where eles.left om on my own. after kissing incdent he told hold his bottle of beer and he came took the bottle then left me ther again all on my own,traeted me like complete door mat.
i asked was he going home innoncently then he added "nothing is going to hapen between us" now i didn,t have clue what that mean, he rejected ,he bellitle me.tareted me like door mat.
you are going to say there is nothing wrong with that.
i feel so hurted .i didn,t go back to martial art since 2006 over that. now i can,r bare the sight of him.if i do go backing he,ll end up taring me and i hate.
he found him self new gilfreind and slim and beauiful young to suit his new inflated ego.
please don,t don,t pity that only half the story .
dont, say i was in the wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): what type of guys have thses personality.what type of personality is it.whay are they like this, boys aome help here. what can i do,why are they like this.why don,t they consider any one feelings.why do i like this guy and he treated me like dirt,why is those type of people don,t get there come up ons.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): Yeah, tell me about it! That was the story of my life! But I was stupid enough to marry four of them, thinking that things would change with marriage...I'm a slow learner! But, I have finally come to a happy ending or maybe a happy beginning! I am in a relationship with a guy who is totally opposite of any of the jerks I've invested years on! He shows me how a woman is supposed to be treated! He respects me, takes interest in my interests and feelings, know how to communicate, and shows me the love I deserve! It has been a long hard road for me but I came to the realization that the bad-boys, although exciting in the beginning will only let me down! I got myself together by focussing on me first. Living my life without a partner, learning to love myself, and enjoying myself without a man. I then began to raise my standards of whom I wanted as a partner...NO MORE BAD-BOYS!
I am very happy and it all started with the knowledge that I deserved so much better! And I have found it!
You can too! And it doesn't have to take 40 yrs of mistakes to do it. Love yourself first! Believe you deserve a better life, and go for it!
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, pietry  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Perhaps this type of guy is your sensation of masculinity. Try to discover what other guys have to offer and see if they have something that attracts you. Also , this preference might pass away with time and you might find some other qualities/bad habits attractive in men.
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