A
female
age
41-50,
*indrider
writes:I have a major crush on my male supervisor at work. This is a new job for me and I only started about a month ago. I smile at him a lot, and have found him to be subtle with his flirtations (if that is even what they are). He always appears in places where I'm at at work, even though he works mainly just in the office downstairs. He is the only male supervisor and is the type of man that seems to crave attention and be in the "spotlight." I know that lately he's been coming up to me and asking me for candy that I keep near my work station (he's been doing this more frequently) and I've been keeping the candy out on purpose, because he has told me that he likes it.He even made a comment today after he took the candy, that he likes the "ladies" taking care of him, because afterall, he is the only "male supervisor." Its hard for me to tell if he's just flirtatious with all the women at work or what. I know I had a cigarette outside the other day and out of nowhere he came outside, talked to me for a minute, and went right back in. Sometimes I catch him glancing at me, or vice-versa, he'll see me looking at him.What should I think/do? I really am attracted to him, but I'm also afraid because he is my supervisor. Should I just keep it to myself or pursue anything further? My friend thinks I should invite him for a drink afterwork, since he is "dropping hints" that he may have his eye on me.What do you think? Thanks...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Love*Fool +, writes (15 November 2007):
 This one sounds difficult. You mentioned he likes to be in the spotlight and mentioned he "likes the ladies taking care of him". This sounds to me like a very flirtatious guy. He sounds as if he considers his status as the only male supervisor as a reason to flirt with all the ladies in hopes that his making many "calls" will result in more than a few "sales" (if you get my drift).
But then again, he could be flirting with you because he's interested. His status as a supervisor really prevents you from asking him out and it would also look bad on you if you asked him out (during work hours, that is).
What you can do is casually mention where you'll be and what you'll be doing after work. You don't have to outright invite him out on a "date", but you can say he looks stressed or whatever and should come out for happy hour with you and a few other co-workers. If he shows up, that will give you a chance to talk to him outside of work (and any type of boundaries there). Still, keep it casual!
If this doesn't work, remember that the holidays are coming up and there should be all sorts of parties and events that you may find yourself attending with him. If your company doesn't throw a holiday party, you could always ask him to accompany you to one of them (a non-family one, anyhow) just "as friends". You can lie and say your original date bailed on you if he gets weird about it (if you ask him during work).
Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Just deal with it.
Workplace relationships are dangerous if you're equals... but as a supervisor its generally a form of sexual harrassment.
So while might very well be up for it... 9 times out of 10 it's gonna end in tears and someone quitting or getting fired.
Flynn 24
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