A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My friends brother apparently liked me and I didn't k ow that. We talked a lot, he made me laugh hard and he started tutoring me in tarot. He also invited me to his candle studio as a possible apprentice and we hung out a few times. We hung out one on one a few times but that's when I noticed the "uh oh". He was starting to make me uncomfortable, sitting too close, saying, "its a gift, knock down your wall, why are you being so diffi ult?" When he insisted on paying. Then he sent me expensive flowers TO MY WORK. Before I had the chance to talk to him about it. To come up with the right words. I called, thanked him and said I thought we were just friends. Now NO ONE is talking to me and there's rumors on social media about me being a liar, a slut and my boss saw. I work at a church and he confronted me about tarot and wouldn't say where he heard that. He's reconsidering my working there now BC of social media and tarot. What do I do to make it stop and where did I go so wrong that my friend obviously wants revenge?
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flowers, friend's brother, liar, my boss, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (6 August 2017):
Have you talked to your family about this and asked for their help? What do they say?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2017): I'm going to have to shut down social media but that's going to cause a problem with my family because they're the ones who set it up. Originally, we had a family facebook and once I got into late HS I was going to college at the same time and was allowed my own facebook. I never personally posted anything about tarot or pictures of me that would get me in trouble on there. I talked to my boss again and he said he couldn't say who told him but he found out from facebook that I was messing around with tarot and that it came from someone who was "concerned". But he couldn't say who because he had to protect their privacy. That's BS!
I asked if someone private messaged him and he said yes so it had to be my friend (or ex friend I guess)
The real question is: how do I stop her from continuing to punish me for turning down her brother? I really think this is punishment. The rumors that I'm a slut were where she tagged ME saying I was "on the prowel" and posting pictures of me and tagging me when she KNOWS I hate being tagged and having my picture taken. they're not bad, it's me in jeans and a sparkly sequined tank and makeup. That's the worst thing I wear. She has pictures of me pretending to drink from a bottle and things like that because we ALL have pictures like that but she never posted them until now. She seems determined to ruin me. I don't even drink! That's why it was a funny picture.
I work in the daycare and I've volunteered for the church daycare since I was 14 and started being employed there last year at the regular daycare (the one open to the public, not just the one during church services). It's not a christian-based daycare if it's not during a church service but my boss is the pastor's wife and he oversees parts of the daycare by default. It's hard to explain without giving too much information.
He basically said he was very disappointed and thought better of me and that he hired me because he thought I'd be an example. I didn't tell anyone about tarot at all but my friend and her brother so guess who the concerned friend is? You can message someone not on your friends list and I think that's what she did.
I really think she's trying to get revenge
So how do I stop her and where did I go so wrong?
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (3 August 2017):
First, CLOSE YOUR FB and any social media accounts.
Social media is evil, and it exposes you to other people being able to ruin your life.
Second, your friend and brother's friend are jerks, and you need to stay away from them. They are no longer your friends.
Third, talk to your boss, and open up about your problem. There are many people that do tarot that also are very good christians/catholics.
Best luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2017):
 OWN your actions, OP.
If you WILLINGLY have someone tutor you in tarot because you are curious and want to know then OWN it.
Take a break from social media. And maybe.... LIMIT what people at work can see on your social media.
YOU have to be smarter about life, OP. You can be so naive that you think what is said and done on Facebook doesn't get seen or heard by people you work with IF THEY have access to your Facebook.
GO talk to your boss and BE honest. And if your boss can't deal with that, well then you need to start looking for another job. Tell him you have no intentions of letting Facebook drama spill over in your work place.
And also if your "FRIEND" is mad at you because you don't want to date her brother then MAYBE you REALLY need to reconsider that friendship. And you REALLY need to reconsider how much ACCESS she has to your FACEBOOK.
So, in short, DEACTIVATE your Facebook (for now) NOt delete (When you deactivate your account, Facebook saves all of your settings, photos, and information in case you decide to reactivate your account. Your information isn't gone—it's just hidden.) And go talk to your boss.
If tarot cards are a no no in your church then back off the tutoring. Not that I entire understand HOW your workplace can dictate your hobbies outside of work, but if this is due to religious beliefs then you either stick to that or find another job.
Time to grow up, OP.
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