A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've had a really bizarre situation and would like some advice and on how I can handle the situation from now. Yesterday there was a knock on my door my boyfriend answered and it was the policeHe came upstairs and told me they said there has been a report of a female filming the neighbours children. I was shocked of course and I went outside to speak to themI could not have expected that would ever be the reason they were here and they told me they needed to check my tablet to confirm that I hadn't taken pictures or filmed their children. Which I instantly wanted them to do and they said they were satisfied that I was innocent I spend a lot of my time drawing an art portfolio my desk is next to the window and all my windows face their back gardenI also spend a lot of time skyping my mum therefore I sometimes hold my tablet in front of me or prop it up on something I've got my pencils in. Me and my boyfriend had noticed that they had been staring at the house a lot I thought it was just me being paranoid but obviously they were I don't spend that much time with the tablet in my hand at the window but I do spend a lot of time drawing at the window so now even though the police sorted it out I'm scared to be at any of my windowsI thought this was a really bizarre accusation as most of the time I speak to my mum is during the day when the children are at school anyway. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel comfortable in my own house anymoreMy sink in the kitchen is next to the window so what I'm doing dishes I can see them and they can see meWhen I eat my dinner at the table which is also at the window it's the same. Obviously I sympathise if that is what they thought but I still feel mortified. But in a situation where they must feel relieved because they are wrong I feel like a victim nowNow I feel uncomfortable to even go out of my own house I take my dog out for a walkI've just been letting him go in the garden which I don't likeMy boyfriend wants to put up curtains because it really seems like they have been watching me too much it reminds me of the Alfred Hitchcock film rear window where he watches so much that he thinks he sees somethingI'm a good person but now I feel like they're always going to be watching me and judging me and they haven't even tried to apologize for the accusation which is a very serious accusationHow would any of you feel about this? I can't believe I'm actually saying that I've been accused of this!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2016): I would take them to court and defend your making a serious false accusation. I do not know the law but I think, if it is a false statement that harms your reputation because you don't really know who and how many people they have spoke to about you. Curtains are for you to hide behind, your boyfriend is making a mistake by suddenly putting curtains up. I think that there is more to this than meets the eye.The only letter i would send is from my solicitor and I would have nothing at all to do with them ever, no matter how many years we were neighbours.It's alright trying to understand the parents side but False Accusations of this nature ruin lives and in some cases cost lives. Never make an accusation unless it is backed by truth and fact. You are taking this too lightly because as they say, mud sticks.....clear your name legally, it's a hell of a big accusation to take lying down.You are an artist, you have not painted or sketched anybody have you?
A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (14 May 2016):
Of course you're mortified by what happened. I'm sorry it did to you but such are the times we live in with paedophiles. The police have to deal with accusations like that seriously. Which they did but as an innocent person it had to have been humiliating.
Have you ever had disagreements with your neighbours? If so maybe this is their payback. My parents had the neighbours from hell who accused them of the same thing just to be spiteful. Like you the police did what they had to, but it was humiliating. If its not a neighbour dispute gone wrong it could have been them being paranoid. Your husband is right in putting up curtains. You're innocent yes, but be cautious from now on. Set up shop in another room if you have to. I say this because your neighbours may be very paranoid or sh*t stirrers.
If you cover your back they will have a tough time accusing you of anything similar in future. Its not nice to have someone accuse you of something so vile, but you have to be cautious now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2016): An antisocial neighbour (a tenant) allegedly assaulted me when I was fixing a mutual fence post, an authorized written request sent to me by the Landlords to take care of. After the alleged assault, Police report, 9 stitches, and no eviction, I’m the one feeling uncomfortable gardening in my own backyard. It puzzles me why when we are wronged we do the hiding, think of putting up curtains and I my case the tenant was chastised to stop playing her petty little games, disturbing the peace… so far so good. Yes you can put up blinds and then be accused of being a Peeping Tom when this (paranoid) neighbour sees the blinds move for any reason. Can you see how they imprison you in your own home?By all means write a carefully worded letter regarding this accusation, have it objectively proof read first before mailing… as anything written can be taken as evidence, for or against.All the best – CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2016): To anonymous 123 I have curtains and blinds in my bedroom and in the living room and our houses are maybe 40 or 50 feet away from each others. I have a small garden at the front and to be honest I have my desk at window because I need a lot of light for making my portfolio and as for the dishes it's a boring task I just thought it was nice to have a View of my own garden as my dog likes to relax in the sun. But I certainly will be putting up blinds on the windows that don't have them now.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 May 2016):
 Put blinds in your house immediately. You should have done this sooner actually...when you know that they can see you doing the dishes or whatever you're doing inside your house, you should have wanted to protect your privacy. How were you comfortable with them seeing what you're doing?
Anyway, whatever's happened is really unfortunate but what you should do now is, put venetian blinds but don't go to their place to talk or clarify anything. If anything then they should have apologized immediately. You haven't done anything wrong so you don't have to justify your actions. By getting the blinds installed, you will be sending out a signal that you are NOT interested in any way in looking at their house and you have taken the accusation seriously. You also don't want anything to do with them and would rather not see them or have them see you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2016): Thanks everyone for the advice it's really made me feel so much better about the situation hearing other people's opinions. I've decided to write them a letter which my boyfriend is going to give to them when he gets back from work not being rude just stating how I felt about the situation and basically telling them that I think they've spent more time looking at me in my own house. I have spoke to the woman before of this situation briefly when we met in the park walking our dogs apart from that I don't know anything about them. Hopefully I get some sort of apology. People I know have been so shocked in saying if it can happen to me it could happen to anyone! And I guess once the dust has settled this situation will probably be quite funny in the future as it is so ridiculous! Needless to say I only moved in 5 months ago and I don't think we're going to be the best of friends!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2016): OMG how awful for you. How rude of them to be looking into your windows anyway. No paedophile is interested in pictures of children playing in the street.
I live across the way from a load of single mum's who spend all day smoking outside while their children run riot in the street. They're always nosing through my windows, so much so that my neighbour keeps his blinds permanently closed.
I don't think it's a good idea to speak to them as people with kids in the UK seem to see every adult as a potential paedophile (I know as I'm a teacher) and the situation might escalate. For your own piece of mind get some venetian blinds so you can see out but they can't see you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 May 2016):
 There are so many bad things happening to children in the world these days that some parents are over protective. They jumped the gun and went to the police, not because they had anything bad against you, just because they where scared for their children. I can understand why a parent would do that.
But yes when the police gave you the all clear they should have apologized, but maybe they are embarrassed. I think you should go and talk to them, explain to them about the painting and the tablet. Then proceed to tell them how you are feeling, give them a chance to apologize. Then yes go and get some curtains so you can relax in your own home. Remember you have done nothing wrong so please don't be hiding away it just makes you look guilty, face them and tell them how this has made you feel.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (12 May 2016):
Wow. That is uncomfortable isn't it? It would have been nice of them to talk to you first. Do you know these people at all? Have you ever spoken to them?
Hopefully the police have and they are now terribly embarrassed that they have wrongfully accused you.
I'm not at all sure how comfortable I would be approaching them. And I'm not sure what you should say if you do. "I'm sorry you thought I was some pervert spying on your kids"?
I almost think I'd leave it alone and install the curtains. If you are going to approach them then I would do it while the children are not home. Bring them a plate of cookies or something? I'd be concerned though that they might think you are coming to confront them and things could escalate.
If you choose to do so be delicate and not confrontational. Explain that you were so absorbed in what you were doing that you missed the warning signs that they were concerned. Let them know that they can feel free to talk to you if they have any future concerns and that you are installing curtains so they don't feel uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 May 2016):
 I'd go talk to them, just to reassure that you were totally unaware they thought you were filming, that you talked to the police and there is no basis for their fears.
Personally, I think they should have come talk to you before calling the Police. However, they still are within their rights to call them
And then I's get some window blinds.
Would I hide? Heck no! you did nothing wrong. Their imaginations went overboard and for that there is nothing you can do. But if you refuse to leave your house or feel you have to hide in the bushes like some Paula-Pedo, it makes you seem like you HAVE something to hide.
If anyone should feel bad, it's them. And yet, I get why they called.In this day and age you have to try your best to keep your kids safe.
So chin up, you didn't nothing wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2016): I understand their need to protect their children, but they accused you for NO REASON and you mustn't let them get into your head.Some people are paranoid. don't mean overly protective, but paranoid, as if the world is out there to get them.The best thing you can do is go on with your life and not think about the event.DO not let their unfounded suspicions control your thoughts, feelings and actions!Make no mistake, they were probably not satisfied with the "investigation" and there is nothing you can do to convince them. So act naturally, go about your business as you always do. Even if the call the police again, the police won't find anything, but they will lose any credibility.I mean if you were filming their children you wouldn't have done it openly. Now we have all sorts of cameras, even our phones, you would be doing it secretly with curtains (almost) drawn.Hang in there. It'll pass. Just don't let it get to you. One day you will laugh and trust me it'll be a good story to tell.My husband and I almost got arrested in a country you don't want to go to a restaurant let alone to a police station (but we had to pass through) because a crazy person (and the police KNEW he was crazy) accused us of illegal hunting! The police searched our car and questioned us on the spot and it lasted for hours (we didn't even have a swiss knife!)! Okay I understand that it's much worse if you have a problem with a neighbor than a random man, but trust me I was scared for a long time. I mean, it was such a dangerous country, anything could have happened. And now, it's one of the best stories to tell at parties ;)
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