A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Just looking for opinions. My BF has been living with me since last November. He had recently divorced and was paying off some things so I didn't ask him for much. He kept saying things like, once I sell this or that, I can pitch in. He does help as far as buying items that need to be fixed or repaired and he'll do the repair so I don't have to but to date, he hasnt' chipped in toward rent, food, utilities, heat. He now sold his motorcylce and is now saying things like "now i can pay off my car and put money in the bank". He still hasn't offered. We went on vacation and he paid for the rental car, we split the gas and I paid for food while away. He paid for tickets for both of us and my 2 kids. He said recently I owe him for the tickets. My problem is that he is still paying for his ex's cell phone and doesn't even ask her to pay him back. He compared it to my getting child support (they have no kids). I blew up this weekend about everythign because I'm broke this month. I feel worse now and after the whole thing, all he said was "pay me another another time, you dont' have to right now". I don't understand how he thinks this is fair. He pretty much told me it was none of my business if he paid her cell, I think it is because he lives with me at no charge. He said I get too moody and I'm always arguing about things with his ex. I feel it's justified. he has a family thing this weekend which his mother invited her to so instead of telling her not to go, he tried to talk ME out of it. He's going with or without me but I dont' know if I should keep avoiding her or just go. I dont' think he or his family should just expect me to accept it and I dont' think I should be put into an uncformatable situation yet they keep inviting her. I'm at a loss and don't know how to handle the whole thing. Advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): this guy is milking you for every penny. you are not ms money bags yet he just takes takes takes. you have to get him to start contributing. i think he is using you until he gets sorted financially. he will continue to use you until he has no need for you. plse be aware that he is only just bidding his time beofre perhaps making his exit once he saves enough? he is slowly starting to distance himself saying that you are always moody and you are now arguing a lot. so perhaps the writing is on the wall.
yes, and plse go to the family gathering. and dress well, clothes and hair,all groomed. just go what do you hav eot lose. you should show him you can hold your own and you are not afraid of any competition.
you need to ensure yo are in the drivers seat and you decide whether he is worth it. do not let him dump you, you do the dumping once he starts to cough up some cash for all the times he used you.
good luck
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Hi Chicka, Your boyfriend is being very selfish at the moment. He is having his cake, eating it and baking it again. If you have spoken to him already about how you feel about stuff and all he says is that it is none of your business...then um.....then his comfort and roof over his head should not be yours. I know it sounds super harsh, but at the end of the day, you are giving and he is just receiving not reciprocating. He is in a place now where he can pitch in and seems to only want to pitch into his own account and not yours. So he is only thinking about himself and no one else.Do you really need this with your family to raise? Is this a good example of what a man should be in front of your kids?? Obviously his behaviour stems from his family life as they dont' seem too sensitive about others' needs either.I am really sorry hon, but I think you should cut this one loose, before you go bankrupt or can't take care of your babies. They come first!Take careAna
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