A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dating advice please : tonight was supposed to be my fourth date with this guy. On Monday he text me and asked me out for Friday. I said yes and We had agreed to meet around 6 or 7pm. (we both have the day off and we agreed to meet near where I would be running errands)Around 1pm, I text him to see if he still wanted to meet and I suggested a place where I'd be with a friend as a meeting point. He text back right away that he could or maybe he could see me later because he really needed to see a friend who was going through a divorce. Around 6:40pm he texts "how are you ?" no mention. Then at 10:40pm he calls twice and texts that he wants to meet up. I ignore it. Thoughts?? Is he looking for just a booty call ? On our 3rd date he flaked and never showed up at the club where we were supposed to meet. The next day he called to apologize and said he took cold meds and feel asleep. (he did sound sick so I gave him another chance THAT time. ) we did have a great third date the next week. Spent all day at a vineyard - had lunch - went for a hike. How should I read this? He's just not that into me? Or he has a girlfriend or someone else that's occupying a lot of his time?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (12 November 2011):
 You really do not need to put up with such casual uncaring behavior on his part.
You were right to ignore his poor actions.
What are his intentions? Just trying to find out how keen you are so he can make his move for a regular booty call?
Completely rude on his part to not turn up at the venue as arranged.
It seems you are acceptable on his terms only, unless something better (for him) turns up in the interim.
Start as you mean to go on. This guy may well be juggling more than one group of women.
He sounds immature and uninvolved emotionally. He is NOT a gentleman.
He is not as nice as you.
And you know you can do better than him.
I think he deserves to be "history"
And you deserve a nicer very classy and fit kind gentleman.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (12 November 2011):
 I think the biggest problem with him is that he lacks common courtesy- and also pre-date etiquette (*as noted from the day you was suppose to meet him at the club). And if you didn't text him at 1PM that day of your meeting, when was he going to contact you and let you know he couldn't meet up with you?? And also AT THAT POINT he should've scheduled a time for the two of you to meet. If it was going to be around 10:40, 6:40 should've been when he confirmed your meeting with him, not just texting "how are you?" If you like this guy, I think you need to have a talk with him and let him know how his flaking out makes you feel. Tell him that you do enjoy the times that you two are together, and you understand that situations in life can alter plans, but you want him to let you know before hand if he's not going to be able to see you. Not 10 minutes before your actual date, and not at 10PM when you may be getting in bed to rest. Best of luck to you!
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