A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i've got a, i suppose, small problem.a really good friend of mine who i have always had strong feelings for, keeps going out with other women. not that i overly mind, he's entitled to go out with who he pleases.but they all keep treating him terribly then bitch about him when he breaks up with them. but me and him will talk for hours, flirting, messing around, the works and we both really enjoy eachothers company, we're on the same wavelength.but i'm always the consolation prize. i always seem to be the backup if he and his gf fall out.i have kept my options open guy wise, there are a couple i fancy who i get on well with, but i don't feel about them in the same way as i do about the guy in question. i think the world of him and i was wondering if you could help me stop becoming his consolation prize. either by us getting closer so i'm first prize rather than the consolation. or by giving me advice on saying no to him but still being a good friend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): You deserve better- you don't deserve to be anyone's "consolation prize." If he can't reciprocate your feelings, then it is time to either move on or keep things on a strictly platonic friendship. (Though even that might be hard, given your feelings for him.) It may be hard, but it is time to find a guy who loves you for you- you deserve the best, never settle for anything less than that. Best of luck!
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 Ah, he dumps the girls who treat them like dirt then goes to you for what he lacked in his relationship..although it's like momentary friends with benefits then he goes and gets into another relationship. You're more or less a rebound and until his next relationship. How many times has this happened?You've got 2 options....
1. Tell him you aren't going to be his go-to-girl or rebound, it's not fair to you because you feel like he's keeping you from dating. Let him know you guys are friends and nothing more..no more flirting, messing around, nothing!
2. Tell him how you feel about him, that you have developed feelings for him.
Ask him why does he continue to go out with girls like that, when you are right here in front of his face.
Now, 1 is a little more of a safe choice and you really have to stand your ground. Two is a little more risky because he might not feel the same way about you, if he does like you then he would be dating you already after this happened the first time.
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