A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I are in a wonderful relationship. We both live with our parents still as I am still in college, and he's waiting for me to graduate and become financially stable for when we do move in together. We see each other, usually around 4-5 days a week. The problem, however, is that I'm usually the one at HIS house. He has to drive back and forth to work mon-fri (5 mins from his house) so on the days I'm no in school, he likes me driving over there and staying for days at a time so "neither of us" have to drive as much since I'm only driving over there, staying for few days, and leaving. He never comes over to MY house anymore and as much as I love him and love being over there, I'm getting tired of it. His parents are usually there and because of my absolute shyness, I'm cramped up in his little tiny bedroom with his video games and shows. I like these things, I'd just like to work on my art occasionally. Anyways, when his parents are home, I'm confined to stay in his room and have no control. I can't get up and roam the kitchen if I get hungry or grab something quick to drink or snack on. That, and his parents have very different diets, so when I'm at his house alone, when they're all at work, I try to be respectful and not eat their food, and when I DO get hungry or thirsty, I have no choice but to drink tap water and perhaps a piece of bread.Not to mention, when he IS home, his room is ultra tiny. He has a gigantic waterbed that takes up literally half of his room. This is usually where I lay because he's usually sitting in a giant leather chair that takes up the only open space he has (unless he's laying with me) I get so sick of just laying there! (we're gamers, so we don't go out often-just not our thing) But at MY house, my room is huge and takes up the entire second floor. There's roaming room and I also have the net (something his mom is against) which means if one of us just wants something else to do, we can usually find seperate things to do for a short while. I really don't mind being over there, but constantly being over there for days at a time is just getting on my nerves. He doesn't think it's as rational for him to come to my house because he'd just have to leave the next morning...but won't even stay the weekends mostly because he isn't fond of my parents. I want to be able to come and go as I please in my own home. I want to work on my art. I want to play MY video games occasionally. I want to see my poor, lonely, kitty! I'm homesick and I haven't even moved out yet! What can I do so we can balance the time spent at his house and mine without offending him or making either of us spend tons of gas money?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): In my experience it is this weird trait that some guys have that I will never fully understand. My ex boyfriend was like this and it bugged the hell out of me. I always stayed over his house but whenever I wanted to return the hospitality he would refuse. I had the house to myself at times yet he would never come over. Yet surely most guys would jump at the chance of some alone time with their girl! Not this one - I don't think he even came around once when my parents were away. Weirdly though my current boyfriend is starting to do the same thing, although he was fine staying with me to start with but now he has started to find excuses not to stay. All I can suggest is that you mention to him how you would like to return the hospitality and see if you can find a reason why he is reluctant to stay over at yours. Keep us posted!
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