A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm seriously so confused, and dont know what to do. Have dated this guy for about a month. We have been out on about 6-7 dates. He told me on the 3 date that he liked me very very much, and I said the same to him. We have great chemistry and it is fun to hang out with him and we are very attracted to eachother. He has slept over at my place about 3 times. He said he wanted us to wait with sex because he wanted it not to ruin anything if it happen to early. I totally agree and was happy he said that. Next time he was making a move and I said i wanted to wait a bit, and he said he just liked me better for waiting.We had a normal date after this, and A week later he came to me after dining with a friend. I asked if he wanted to come over because we had talked about it that its better to have little time togheter than not seeing eachother (he has a lot to do with his upcoming exams). He was very tired and so was I. We kissed and I said i didnt want it to happen yet, bacause he was making a move, and I got a little annoyed. He said: "I think most would have done it by now" and he turned silent and said he was tired. I said that I thought it was a little weird that he didnt want to talk to me a bit before sleeping,and that I would have done this because I really like him, and I hoped that he wasnt just after sex,. He said he wasnt. And he has not showed any sign for that, so I know it was stupid of me. And I also felt that i nagged a bit about the whole sexthing. That I was afraid he would leave me afterwards if we had it to early and so on..but I was honest at least,and I didnt say it in a super-serious way, but I know it was stupid:( anyway we talked much that night and it didnt seem like he was annoyd. He said he understood me and that everyone is insecure in the beginning, and that I had to relax. He said himself he wanted to wait, and that he liked me better if I wait. I mean; Would he suddenly become angry now, or is it just because he was tired? Next day I got a text from him; he said he had a great time, just tired and if we could go to a resturant some time next week. so that we didnt just sleep togheter I was happy. On monday i told him that i could hang on wednsday and thursday and he said he coulnt do it because he had SO much to do in school (he's in med-school so I know he has a lot to do). It had come up a lot of submissions and he didnt have the time. He said it was going to be like this until his exam (in about 3 weeks). He said we had to take it from time to time. I know he had a lot to do lately, he hasnt seen his friends and after easter I am the one he has hung out with, he also had to cancel a weekend with his friends because of schoolwork..He said nothing was wrong, that he would see me again, that he liked being with me, nothing had happen, but he thought he had to focus on school since we werent girlfriend/boyfriend and that he couldnt prioritize me, and he even said that if i couldnt accept the situation, and if I wanted to date another guy he couldnt stop me (!) I said that I wouldnt date anybody else! He said that after his exams he didn't have much to do, and neither would I..I think he ment that we could hang more out then. It was really just about stress and lack of time he said.He said we could talk in the end of the week. I got a little disapointed, but i showed him I understood. I even texted him and said I really understood his situastion. But now its wednsday,and he hasnt called..believe it or not but it has been over a week. What should I do?!? The reason I wanted to wait with sex is that we havent really been on many real dates because of him having a lot to do, and we havent dated for a very long time either, so I dont know him very well and trust him fully. But he has been very sweet, and actually I wanted to have sex with him on the next date, bacause I thought the time was right, and we were going to a resturant and a real date (I "planned" this before he said he couldnt meet me, so it wasnt about manipulating or anything..).I told him in last conversation and he just laughed and said: "I'm coming right over":P Did he think that I said this in desperation for him meeting me? I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid he doesnt think I want to have sex with him and I doenst like him, and is offended or anything(think he isnt good enough), but I want to!!!!! And I think he has noticed this when we were making out and I got very excited. But I just didnt want it to happen to early.. Now I may have lost him:( ??Should I contact him and find out what it is, or will this stress him out even more with his exams and everything?! Did I do anything wrong last time we hung out togheter? (despite him telling me without me asking that nothing wrong had happen). I'm sure it would be best to talk when his exams are done, but wouldnt it be just to long time (3 weeks - almost a month)?! Maybe he feel like he has to come up with a date, and therefor he hasnt contacted me. Should I send him a short,nice text and say we could meet after his exam? What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): You've only been dating for one month, what's his idea of waiting, one date!? I agree it is way too early for sex. Don't bother trying to contact him, if he doesn't get back in touch then he was a player (no matter how nice he seemed) and you had a lucky escape.
A
male
reader, sighprash  +, writes (11 May 2011):
 way too early for the sex...
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