A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I turned 30 and have been feeling very worried about it. I have a great boyfriend and we have plans to get married but we are having some financial difficulties and cannot right now. He knows I want kids and wants them too but we dont have the income just yet. I'm concerned about having children since 35 is the magic number for birth defects. I know my clock is ticking! But I want to go to college and do a 2 year degree program that I got into but I'd be near 32-33 getting out this program so we have more money to get married and even have a kid. I am so concerned by the time I can have kids I'l be infertile. Advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): A few thingsFirst and most important, 35 is hardly a cut-off point, closer to 40 is a better average- but everyone's different, so follow dr.2.be's advice and consult your doctor.Secondly, you are being very responsible in ensuring you have a stable household to raise a child- though you may be pleased to know that it doesn't necessarily cost a good parent that much to raise a child (Freakonomics state that intrinsically good parents waste money on 'how to' books- ignoring that it was the fact they were serious enough to buy a book that made them a good parent). Perhaps you may want to simply write up an estimate for clothes, food, and any extra possible costs (usual baby medicines and such- always good to assume some extra minor costs) and compare these to your income? College? Easy- just check to see if they have daycare. Better yet- you can always see if it is ok to carry your baby into classes- knew a woman who did and it worked out fine for everyone.But again- check first!In short- what you REALLY want to be thinking of is how to organize yourselves with a baby in your lives, and doing some small math to see if it can fit!Doc H.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): at 35 it will be a question not just of defects but of if you can become pregnant and sustain a pregnancy due to hormonal factors and egg quality. some people have healthy babies into their forties, but not usually first babies, although some do. there is no way to tell. some women go into early menopause in their 30's and earlier. most women start peri-menopause, which can go on for 10 years or longer, in their mid thirties. it is not only the woman's age that matters, men's sperm becomes defective after a certain age also, the quality and speed of sperm decreases with age and genetic defects are more likely. All of these things can be monitored much more now than in the past.
it's your decision to make. having a child without good finances is usually a bad idea imo.
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A
female
reader, dr.2.be +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Don't think about it so much. There are women in their early 40's still having kids, so you have plenty of time. My mom was 40 when she had me and 43 when she had my sister and there was nothing wrong with us. The only thing with having kids at an older age is that you may need to work closer with your doctor for early detection of down syndrome, as there is an increased risk for this in children born to mothers over 35.
I say just get your career and finances straight and then concentrate on having a baby. I always say, career, finances, then children.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 March 2012):
 35 is the number, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be having kids that late. My mom was 39 when she had me and I don't have any birth defects! You will just want to make sure you get amnio done and keep close contact with your doctor. Many women wait until their mid-thirties to have kids.
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