A
male
age
30-35,
*ensativeguy010
writes:i usually come to this site asking for help with my girl problems...but just the other day i got so fed up with being let down by girls so much these past few months that im just going to stop trying and focus on myself for once. But ive been so involved with finding a good girlfriend this past year and a half that i havent given barely any time to myself. But i just hate not having a companion. I have lots of friends and even a band to keep me busy but its just not the same if i dont have a girl to focus on. I get lonely and sometimes even depressed, but im just so tired of getting my hopes up and getting let down that i want to give up and stop trying for a while. You see back in high school(3 yrs graduated) i was quiet, shy, didnt talk much, and didnt go to school events, activities, or sporting events. I only had a handful of gf's and didnt get very far with them. A year after i graduated i bought a guitar and my life did a complete 180, i am a completely different person. and Ive talked to/been with so many girls in the past couple of years. But im afraid if i dont go out and put in the effort to find a good companion that i will be alone for a very long time... and that scares me. so i would like to see if anyone has any suggestions on how to work on this problem :/
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male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Picking up chicks n getting them to feel attraction for you is the easy part...Challenges arise when you actualy try to keep these girls n keep them happy for the long haulKeep on working on self improvement ie intellectualy,physicaly by working out,get involved in activities ie do volunteer work,participate in a sport if possible,take a cooking or dancing class...hell go skydiving,make more female friends(not tryng to make GFs out of them as the main goal frm the get go),expand your social circle etc etcWhen you focus alot of energy on finding a GF,you end up broadcasting signals to women wreaking of neediness and unattractiveness and in my experience women are so much better than men at picking up n reading these signals and reading body language n somehow it repels them!!So id suggest you focus on the self improvement activities AND focus on learning and developing the skills it takes to make a relationship last as its key to your long term happiness n satisfaction,so focus on the big picture...
A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (2 July 2011):
You just said that after you graduated you were with many girls so whats the problem??? I'm not understanding. Are you back to the way you used to be? Why are u so hung up on girls? The more you think about it the farther away you are going to get from girls. Confidence, a social life, hanging out with the boys is going to get you closer to girls than pining over them, sulking and soaking and not going out thinking some how , some girl outa nowhere or some website is gonna b your girlfriend. That's not reality, reality is going out and enjoying your independance and when/if a girl comes around then great, if not then just know it's not your time yet.
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