A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy 2 months ago, through mutual friends, completely unexpected..and we really hit it off. Totally clicked, and yes things went fast. Neither of us to blame, we just really felt a major connection and decided to just go with it. No pressure, no labels, just be. He was crazy about me as I was for him. However, he is going through a divorce, his ex wife had an affair, and he has 4 children..in which I met early on (unplanned occurrence) and they were incredible. I became attached to them within a few visits and so did they. He was completely thrilled with the fact that they loved me and I loved them. Things were phenomenal. We both were shocked at how strong of a connection we shared and constantly asked ourselves, is this real? Where did you come from? We took a mini-vacation and had an amazing time, but when we came back I felt some distance from him. A week prior I felt the distance but figured the vacation would fix it. It was only temporary, within the same week we came back I had to confront him and ask why he seems to be backing off. He claimed that he is scared and where are we going. I have no children, never married, yet never asked for any of these things, I just went with the flow. He asked for some time to think things out, I gave it to him, never called, text, emailed..just let him be. He called me 4 days later to ask me to dinner so we can talk. That talk was him breaking things off with me completley because he is not ready. I never asked for anything. I know there is no other woman and it's nothing to do with his ex wife. I am certain, unlike other times. But I have to say this is INCREDIBLY difficult for me, I feel like I've met the one (and he felt that too) but he is throwing it all away. I guess I am clinging to the hope that one day we will cross paths and be together, I will wait for him, he's that amazing. We are that amazing. But i'm so afraid he's gone forever. How can this be happening. I'm devastated.
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affair, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust thought I'd drop in and give an update. I'll explain why momentarily. It's been over a year since this has happened, and several months later I met a really great guy, we've been in a relationship for almost a year now, we live together and things were really great. But money is tight, he lost his job of 18 years, and it's put major strain on our relationship. In fact, it's compleltley different that how it was in the beginning. No surprise, right? Anyway, the reason I've decided to update- I haven't spoke to my "ex" in a very long time, however I can't believe that I still think about him- all the time. I miss him, and the connection
We shared. Why is this still happening??? He actually contacted me on my birthday and said he lives close to me (I've moved and so has he) and he wants to come over, hang out etc..meet the "lucky guy" seriously? I told him Id let him know but I never did make any plans and haven't spoke to him since. I don't feel happy sometimes in my relationship it makes me want to cry, here we go again ya know. But I don't want to be with someone who has so much baggage nonetheless an ex...no. I guess I just need to release some of my agony...thanks
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you to all who have responded..it's been little over a week now and we've had no contact..I'm still so very hurt by all of this however I'm trying to see the other side of things. Is my soulmate really a man who already has 4 children and an ex-wife? At 30 my chances of finding someone without children are kind of slim. However; I find it so frustrating because we shared such a connection and it was all taken from me. Gone as fast as he came. I actually feel grief, because I guess you can say I have suffered quite a loss. His company, his children, his brother, etc. Little by little I am picking up the pieces, and trying to do some soul searching..it may sound cliche but it's doing me quite well. Again thank you all for your input, and if anything changes I'll be sure to update.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 Some men do think that a young woman like you deserves better, like a richer, unattached guy with no kids. He probably doesn't want any more kids and you surely do, at least he thinks. He is more devastated than you are. He's not ready to go though that hurt and betrayal again. If he doesn't even want to be friends, you have to respect his wishes. One day he will open the doors to love again. It's not your responsibility to wait for him. Don't let him drag you down.
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A
female
reader, newbeauty25 +, writes (30 May 2010):
girl. if your chemistry was that GOOOD!!!!!
HELL BE BACK. TURST ME . LOL but do not sit and wait
im sitting her waiting for my mr right. hope i didnt just break up with him.lol good luck.
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