A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am 8 and a half months pregnant. I am supporting my fiance because he will not get a job. I pay his child support for his 7 year old, his cigarettes, food, car, gas- everything! He drives my car and lives in my house. I'm running out of money fast and he gets defensive when I ask him to get a job- any job. I want to give him a chance to be an active father to our son, but money is dwindling fast. This has been the situation for almost 7 months now. When do I give up on him?
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (26 June 2007):
Kick him out or at least stop giving him money. You need to think about you and your child. While you pay this guys way he won't get off his ass. Cut his funds and let the mother of his other child start demanding he pay. It's his responsibility, not yours. You need you money for your child.
I would give on him about now. He's a sponge and probably wont change. If you are not ok with the way he is, and it sounds like you are far from ok then kick his ass to the curb sweetie and start living for you.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (25 June 2007):
What were you thinking when you chose to get knocked up by this guy?
You know the answer to your own question; furthermore any advice given by the agony aunts is wasted until you listen to your own inner voice. It's been screaming at you from the time you met this deadbeat but other voices have been shouting down your inner voice.
If you don't have self-esteem issues there is hope. If you do, then you'll be back asking the same question when you are carrying his second child and are practically homeless.
Please get in touch with that inner voice. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (25 June 2007):
I would give up on him now.
You say you are paying the child support for his other child you will soon have your own child to look after.
All the time you let him get away with what he is doing he is going to carry it on, he's got a great life so he probably sees it as why should i go out and get work when i have someone that gives me everything i need.
Get rid of him you would be so much better off without him you give him everything and he gives you nothing, relationships are supposed to have give and take, not just take, take, take.
Take care.xx.
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