A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I,m still a virgin and yet a guy i,ve been seeing has literally done it all and he's only 22! I asked him how many women had he slept with thinking it would only be 3 or 4 he told me its about 25 people including 3 ways and 4 ways and a prostitute!!! I didnt believe him at first but when I heard of some of his friends that it was true i was stunned. I don't know how i should feel...I feel a little bit intimidated by the fact that he's slept with so many women and All i,ve done was snog 3 guys and 2 girls. And i,m afraid because I,m so new to all this sexual stuff I,m going to be crap at it with him...What should I do?
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prostitute, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (8 October 2011):
What should you do? See if he will wait a year to have sex with you, I expect within a few weeks he would be with someone else.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): I don't think he is the one to take this step with. He has had too many partners and in questionable situations and that alone is often a sign of not being stable in that department or reliable for a long term partner. Being a virgin has nothing to do with your ability to be good lover. Know your body, and your desires first before you worry about that.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (4 October 2011):
 just be careful you might be his next prize ( conquest ) if you decide to stay with him don't give yourself any regrets to look back on. and if you stay with him will his past haunt you in the future. you need to ask yourself these questions. if you stay with him don't let him rush things on you. you need to ask yourself if he gets the prize ( virgin ) will he move on to the next girl he can get. what ever you do look at his charter, see who the real guy is.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 He is probably been sensitive and giving you the time to be ready for things sexually, which shows he is caring.
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A
female
reader, sgore11 +, writes (3 October 2011):
Depending on how this guy is, a lot of his past sexual conquests might not have had a lot of emotional significance. And, if he's willing to wait until you're ready for sex, it sounds like he cares. I was also a virgin when I first started dating my fiance, and he also had many, many, many, many sexual conquests before me. He was very supportive when I was feeling insecure, and when it came time to consummate, I was absolutely sure that it was what I wanted and that I wouldn't regret it. Just be safe, and be sure that you really care about each other before you guys go betwixt the sheets!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your replies. If I may add on to the question the one thing that does really stick out is I don't think he wants to sleep with me like we've talked about it but he says theres no rush. those that make things more difficult?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): Keep away from this guy! Whatever you do, don't sleep with him or you will regret it for the rest of your life! Wait until you find a good, decent guy who really loves you, to have sex for the first time. This guy only wants to use you and then he'll move on to the next girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): I would probably tell you to trust your gut in this situation. I don't know anything about this guy, but this sounds a little off to me. I could be assuming wrongly,but part of me he thinks you're an interesting challenge BECAUSE you're a virgin. He might be attracted to your virginity because of it's novelty value. How long have you two been seeing each other?
It's impossible to enjoy sex with someone if you don't feel at ease with them. After finding out about his history, you obviously don't feel at ease and you feel intimidated. Put it off and see if he sticks around.
And I second Perhaps Not; if you do decide to sleep with him, please use protection. After 25 other people, he's pretty much bound to have something. These are stats from the US, but they might be useful:
-80% of people are exposed to HPV at some point in their lifetime...40% currently carry it actively (men included) Strands of the HPV virus tend to be responsible for ovarian cancer in women, but HPV is probably less well known for causing genital warts. No cure for those either.
-Herpes. About 20% of adult populations carry this. No cure either. And like HPV, you don't have to have symptoms (warts or lesions) to pass it on. A condom might help, but it can be passed from skin to skin.
My advice is to you is if you decide you want to have sex with him, ask that he get thorough testing. Emphasis on the thorough. My first boyfriend got a routine test and I still tested positive for HPV later. Some of the testing is uncomfortable for men (swabbing their urethra to check for HPV). Another issue is some of the testing isn't reliable. For instance, people only test positive for herpes IF they've had an outbreak of lesions. He could carry the virus, pass it on to you, but potentially still test negative.
Just be extremely carefully, very choosy, and go with your gut in this situation. First time experiences rarely live up to your imagination, but it doesn't seem like you would be comfortable with him anyway.
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A
male
reader, CosmicDust +, writes (2 October 2011):
Do you not think he is going to use you for one thing and then move on to his next conquest? Because that's how this sounds to me. If you're trying to tame a bad boy, you're going to be in a whole world of pain when you give away your virginity to him.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (2 October 2011):
 If your concern over his sexual history is strictly rooted in the fear that you won't measure up in the sex department, don't worry. He knows you're a virgin, right? If he does, he's not expecting anything that will blow his mind. He knows your skill set can't exceed that of a prostitute, or a well seasoned veteran. On some level, he is probably even seeing you because you are a virgin.In either case, if you do decide to sleep with this man, be sure to use a condom, no matter what he tells you. You don't want to catch an STD or anything.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (2 October 2011):
You need to calm down and think about if his past or present is the most important thing to you?He cant change his past, so you either need to put it out of your mind and if you cant then maybe its best to move on.Its so important to remember only do anything sexual when you are 100% sure and ready and if this guy cares about you he will give you that time and isnt going to be judging you on how experieneced you are or arent.
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