A
male
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anonymous
writes:Dear Agony Aunts. Im a teenager. Is it normal for me to be attracted to both sexes?Thanks for your help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pebblesxx +, writes (3 April 2007):
babe, normal is how you see it!! its not a bad thing. since i became sexually active (18yrs) i found the thought of women FAR more appealing than the thought of men. times i would be in bed and fantasise i was with a woman, but founbd that i liked the way a man felt strong and rugged- well most of em anyways..lol- and this feeling became a desire, and it grew stronger and stronger and in the end i had a brief (like a week long) affair few months back with another woman, true i felt more confident i didnt worry if i was doing it qrong or not i toojk control of it, and it was ok...but there was something missing for me n a vibrator just wouldnt have done it!! i come form a family where its not good, but im me just as you are you, ur feelings are urs! noone has the right to judge whether that is normal or nit if it feels ok to you thats cool. now my derisres are just thoughts, i guess i hyped it up in my head for so long it wasnt as agood as i imagined..hehee..gutted eh??...saying that i do still think women r more arrtative but nithing beats a real man!! well for me...dnt be ashamed babe... if you like it you like it!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): yes it is im in the same boat as you,,,i currenyly going trough the same thing now. and considering experimenting with the same sex. i read in a agony aunt collum in the local paper that 35% of men between late teens and early 30's experiment with the same sex just for the sake of the feeling being attracted to both sexes...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): i would just like to point out, in response to the 'anonymous' male reader who said this is 'unnatural' and maybe will send you to hell ...
seriously, ignore those kinds of comments. look, the truth is that people have different views as to whether homosexuality is immoral, largely based on particular readings of particular religious texts. i'm sure this is not new to you.
but you didn't ask for an opinion poll of what all the readers of this site think is moral or immoral- you asked whether it is 'normal.' and in this context, as a teenager, 'normal' means 'something that's not just me' right? no. it's not just you. not by a long shot. and it doesn't really tell you anything. look at what the others have said. almost half of all teenagers feel this way at some point. maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's the sorting out a sexual orientation, who knows? it doesn't really matter. what matters is that look- being a teenager is confusing as all hell, and it's scary, bc you feel so completely alone in everything. and no one on this site has the right to make you feel more alone. you're not alone.
hang in there. wait it out. right now it feels like everything is upside down and downside up and you will never be able to make sense of anything, but you will. and it feels like that day is so far away that it will never come, or that there's no way you could possibly wait that long, but it will, and you can. just hang in there. in time, you will understand what all these things mean for you- what's right for you. until then, my advice is to try to focus on the things you do know--on those few things that do make sense to you. maybe this is sports, or band, or schoolwork, or video games, or scouting, or being a good member of your family--whatever. cling to those as much as you can, and little by little, the other things will start to fall into place.
hang in there. and don't feel alone. when i was a teenager, adults always told me that everyone i knew was going through the same stuff i was, and i never believed them. and then i got to college and a little after, and my peers and i got a little more sure of ourselves, and we started talking about life as teens, and lo and behold, the grown-ups had been right. we really were all going through the same thing. it's true in every generation, and it's still true in yours. (i know this not least b/c i have loads of family members that are teens, and they all have similar stories.) just hang in there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): Many teenagers go through a phase in which they find themselves attracted to both sexes. It's their way of working out whether they are straight, bi-sexual or gay. So stop worrying about it, it is normal and the phase will probably blow over.
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A
female
reader, ruth2203 +, writes (1 April 2007):
being a teenager my self i understand we are brought upto go out with the opposite sex so that its the most dominate choice , but how do you know you like some thing until you tried it and there is nothing wrong with finding out x
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (1 April 2007):
 I dont believe that anyone that is attracted to both sexes as a teenager is abnormal. There has been a number of tests done at various universities stating that being attracted to both sexes at a young age is normal. They state that more than 50% of people have been attracted to both sexes at one stage or another in life.
Personaly I can say that I havent been, but I wouldnt think its abnormal or that at such a young age you can state that you are gay either. So dont panic about it, it is totally normal according to scientists.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): No. It is unnatural, though some will tell you otherwise. Attraction to the same sex is something you will have to deal with, I won't tell you it is your decision to start with, but it really is an unnatural idea. I'm not telling you to not be who you are, I'm not telling you that you will go to hell (not my judgment, that's up to God), but I am telling you it is not the way that we were created, or the way we happen to be if you don't believe in creationism.
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A
male
reader, honeyross +, writes (1 April 2007):
 Absolutely normal at your age. Many people go through periods where they fall in love with a person regardless of whether the person's male or female.
Over time you'll be able to work out whether you're mostly straight, mostly bi, or mostly gay.
Many people will try and convince you that fancying a member of the same sex is wrong but they may never understand because they might not have had the same feelings and so they're not qualified to comment.
Trust your own feelings.
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