A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a secondary school teacher. One of the students from the school I work in has started writing emails to me to which I have responded to. He is only 3 years younger than me. The messages are quite innocent but I am a bit worried as I would not like him to fall for me (which, most probably, he has). He is not in any of the groups I teach. We just meet sometimes in the corridor and I just smile (like I always do when I see someone I like). Recently he has asked me if I smiled or laughed at him as he wanted to be treated seriously. I know he is very shy and that he has not told anyone about the emails yet. He never says anything straight. Maybe there is no sexual interest (which does not seem very probable if we take into consideration the tone of some of his messages).I would like to ask if I should or not respond to his messages (in order to avoid unpleasant consequences - like the boy's broken heart. He is really nice and I would never like to hurt him.)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): Reply to his emails, but keep the tone professional. I am a teacher also, and I put in my syllabus that the students can expect me to reply to their emails (I remember how frustrating it was to have teachers ignore mine when I was a student). Periodically, I do have students who develop an interest in me, but have found that if I just distance myself from them, their crush usually passes.
A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 You should tell him that as a teacher you are not allowed to email pupils privately because it is not professional and that you both could get in trouble for it. If you are attracted to him which could be possible then you could say in addidion; that we can get into contact again once you graduated from the school, thats then your own private life. I would not tell this to any teacher even thuogh it might be professional but this is to do with somebodies feelings here, so therefore I think its not a nice thing to do considering the human aspect. Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): HiYou need to remember if you value your future and career as you are in such a position of trust. The private emails i would think are not the correct thing for you to be doing. Yes you may well break this young boys heart, but will you email all the boys who develop crushes on you throughout your teaching career? You are an intelligent woman and can surly ween the boy off the emails. and must work in a professional manner if you wish to be a teacher.....too personal in my opinion and could get you in a whole lot of bother.As a last thought it may be wise to inform your head of school what has happened and they will advise you how best to deal with this without hurting the young boys feelings, and jeopardizing your career. v.c.d.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): I think you should ease out of the situation as he could be getting ideas and imaginging things might develop between you.
If you look around this site you will see lots of emails from teenagers thinking the teacher wants to start something up with them.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 November 2008):
I think you should let him down gently.
Tell him that as a teacher you are not allowed to email pupils privately. Tell him that both of you could get into trouble for doing it and so you can no longer respond to his messages.
At the same time, tell a fellow teacher, who you trust, what has been going on so they are a witness that you are handling it professionally and have no interest.
Good Luck!! xx
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